Parent Coaching: What it Is and How it Strengthens Families

Parenting can be both deeply rewarding and undeniably tough. It’s normal to feel lost or uncertain at times, but parent coaching can guide you through those difficult moments, experience greater joy, and strengthen your connection with your child.

What is parent coaching?

Parent coaching is like having a personal trainer to help you build parenting skills. A parent coach can be an objective partner who guides you through the ups and downs of parenting and teaches you practical skills to manage anything from tantrums to technology use.

“Parent coaching helps parents have a healthier connection with their kids by giving them tools and strategies for parenthood,” said Tamara Jones, LPC, a Lyra Health therapist who specializes in relationships. “It’s not about pointing out what parents are doing wrong, it’s about working together to set goals and make a plan to reach them.”

How parent coaching works

Parenting coaching looks different for everyone because the coach tailors their approach to your unique parenting challenges and goals.

“When you work with a parent coach, you’ll start by talking about what’s working for you in your role as a parent and what isn’t going so well. From there, we’ll explore what you wish things looked like instead,” said Jess Ramsey, MAT, CPC, a mental health health coach and parent coach supervisor at Lyra. “All of our work together is rooted in values. This means you’ll talk to your coach about the kind of parent you want to be, why this matters to you, and come up with a plan to make this a reality.”

A parenting coach talks through specific challenges you’re facing and suggests evidence-based skills to try like mindful awareness. “As parents, it’s not uncommon for us to get hit with multiple demands all at the same time. For example, my kid might be getting off the bus in five minutes while I’m sitting in a work meeting that’s running behind and my email inbox is flooded with messages. Mindful awareness is a skill I could use to bring myself into the moment so I can attend to each of these tasks without blowing my top.” said Ramsey.

In addition to learning new skills, a parent coach will share resources to support your learning and skill development between sessions. For example your coach might send you videos, articles, or exercises to help you practice things like giving instructions your kids will follow, curbing annoying behaviors like bugging a sibling during a car ride, or getting through the bedtime routine more quickly and with fewer requests for “just one more tuck-in.”

How can parent coaching help?

#1 Balancing multiple roles

Many of us feel pulled in different directions by roles like spouse, parent, employee, and friend. Parent coaching can help you reconcile an idealized vision of parenting with the daily realities of life and provide tips for balance and prioritizing.

#2 Easing transitions

Life is full of transitions, and they move especially fast for kids. Parent coaching can help you through the changing dynamics of your child’s life.

“A parent coach can provide insights and strategies to adapt to new life stages, whether it’s transitioning to daycare or elementary school, the challenges of middle school, or preparing for a monumental shift like going to college or moving out of the house,” said Ramsey.

Parent coaching can help you guide your child through these transitions while exploring the  emotions these transitions bring up for you.

#3 Reframing thinking

Parenting coaching can help reshape perspectives, especially in complex situations like divorce or a new blended-family dynamic. Parents may feel guilty or uncertain, leading to more lenient behavior. “In this case, we reassure parents that setting boundaries isn’t ‘being mean’ but provides necessary structure,” said Jones. “By embracing this shift in mindset, parents can communicate better and offer the structure children need to thrive and feel secure.”

#4 Turning off your “default” setting

Parenting coaching guides us away from “default parenting” shaped by our own upbringing. “We naturally go to what’s been modeled for us even if we’d prefer to parent differently,” said Jones. “In parent coaching, we evaluate what works and what doesn’t, and learn to understand how our own experiences have shaped our parenting style.” By identifying these patterns we can change unhelpful thinking and behaviors.

#5 Relating to your child

Parenting coaching encourages you to identify how you’re showing up for your child and decide if that’s an effective way for that particular child or age. “For example, if you’re attempting to micromanage every facet of your child’s life, you might inadvertently stifle the relationship,” said Jones. “But by nurturing trust and autonomy, you can relate to your child as an individual, which creates stronger bonds and mutual respect.”

#6 Improving communication

Parent coaching teaches communication skills that foster mutual respect, understanding, and empathy. “It helps to approach interactions with curiosity rather than jumping straight to consequences or lectures,” said Jones. “You can ask questions and truly listen to your child’s perspective, helping them feel heard and understood. By creating this open dialogue, parents can shift from being controllers to supportive guides.”

#7 Processing grief

Parent coaching can help with loss, whether it stems from life transitions like a child going off to kindergarten or college, grief for the loss of your life before kids, or profound losses like miscarriage or stillbirth.

#8 Adjusting to parenthood

There’s nothing quite like the seismic life shift that comes with parenting. “Sometimes people have a hard time reconciling the vision of what they thought parenting would be with what it is,” said Ramsey. “Or they’re trying to make sense of their new identity as a parent.” Parent coaching helps you build confidence and adapt to your new role.

#9 Managing behavior problems

Children’s behavior problems often come up in parenting coaching. “A parent coach can help with challenges like tantrums, not following directions, and bedtime struggles,” said Ramsey. “Parents can gain insights into the causes of these behaviors and learn strategies to address them.”

“Parenting doesn’t come with a manual. It’s like on-the-job training, but there are resources for real-time support that can guide you toward a more effective approach where your child feels understood and receptive,” said Jones.

Misconceptions about parent coaching

Misconceptions about parenting coaching often revolve around fear of judgment and a belief that seeking help implies failure. “What parent coaching is not is an indication that you’re flawed or you have failed,” said Jones. “It’s a source of support, and parents should show up proudly because they’re taking steps to positively impact their family.”

Another misconception is that a coach is going to tell you how to parent or “fix” everything. A parenting coach works with you to identify strengths and areas for growth. It’s a collaborative, non-judgmental relationship.

“It would be a misconception to assume I’m going to tell you everything that’s wrong and exactly how to fix it,” said Ramsey. “I’m going to collaborate with you to figure out the sort of toolbox of strategies that will help you live your life the way you want.”

How to find a parenting coach

If your company has mental health benefits through Lyra, you have access to over 6,500 child providers, and in most cases you can see a provider within one day. We offer provider matching based on preferences like race/ethnicity, gender, and LGBTQIA+ identity. Your child will be getting the most effective care because our providers use evidence-based approaches like acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), behavior parent training, and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which is proven to enhance coping skills, improve emotional regulation, and decrease stress.

Get help with parenting challenges

Parenting isn’t easy. No one has all the answers. Be kind to yourself and give yourself compassion. Parent coaching can provide guidance, practical strategies, and emotional support along the way.