Who tells your story?

“You have no control/ who lives/ who dies/ who tells your story.” That’s an oft-cited lyric from the hit Broadway musical Hamilton, which chronicles the life of founding father Alexander Hamilton and tells his story – beyond the basic facts that most Americans know. Lin-Manuel Miranda, the show’s creator, stated that prior to reading a…

Alone time vs. couple time – learning to strike a healthy balance

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness… Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.” – Khalil Gibran, The Prophet Anaya and Calvin have been living together for two years. Anaya often…

Real men have feelings

Boys don’t cry. That was the message I received growing up. Like the time I was pushed to the ground during recess at the age of 10. I remember the sharp pain in my knee, and my eyes filling with tears. As I lay there in pain, one of my friends said, “Stop being such…

How do you know when therapy is effective?

We know that talk therapy can be highly effective and life-changing for people grappling with mental health concerns. But for providers and clients alike, there remains a critical question that still sparks much debate: How do you know when therapy is effective? It turns out the answer isn’t always intuitive. We could all use some…

Getting Better Sleep

Your boss gives you a last-minute project, and you have to work into the evening to get it done. You get to bed later than usual but have difficulty falling asleep because your mind won’t let the project go. You toss and turn until you finally fall asleep. Then, because you’re extra tired the next…

Mindfulness: try less, experience more

I first learned about mindfulness in graduate school. One of my professors led a course, and as a stressed-out student it sounded like the perfect escape. I remember feeling excited to finally find a bit of mental bliss and quiet. Instead, I found myself impatiently waiting for everlasting peace, tranquility, and enlightenment. It almost never…

Learning to fly: breaking free from avoidance with values-based exposure

Ten years ago I developed a fear of flying, and when I think back, it was like being in a sitcom. I’m walking down the jetway, feeling a little light-headed, my heart already racing. As I board, I notice that one of the plane doors looks a little rusty. I think, this must be an…

Finding and keeping the motivation to change

One of life’s greatest challenges is getting and staying motivated. Perhaps you want to exercise on a regular basis, eat healthier, make a doctor appointment you’ve been putting off, get to bed earlier, or spend more quality time with your family. Even when you know you want to make such a change, time can slip…

Sharing responsibilities: is there an equitable solution?

When we begin a new romantic relationship, the electricity, magic, and euphoria can lead us to make decisions quickly – meet the parents, move in together, get a pet, have children, buy a house, and so on. We rarely take an objective look at our partner’s personality patterns, how they manage stress, how they handle…

Battling burnout with purpose and meaning

When my kids were toddlers, my husband and I had a complex division of labor. We both worked full-time and, as is often the case for working parents of little ones, there was always way more that needed to be done than we had time for. It felt like we were constantly in motion trying…