Beating the odds: key predictors of successful relationships

According to the American Psychological Association, 40-50 percent of marriages today end in divorce. The reasons for these dismal statistics are varied, but the good news is that with commitment and work, couples can beat the odds. One of the most highly respected, extensively researched approaches to couples counseling is the Gottman Method. Through decades of research, the Gottmans discovered that there are certain factors, or key predictors, that contribute to the success or failure of a relationship.

Letting go of the “if only” mindset

If only I got that promotion. If only I got into business school. If only my house were bigger. If only he loved me. Have you ever found yourself thinking this way? I call it the “if-only” mindset. It’s normal to have these thoughts, but believing deeply that something needs to happen before we can enjoy our lives can create tension and despair, and prevent us from truly being with what’s going on in the present.