Healing From Childhood Trauma

Childhood experiences shape our view of the world and how we function in it. In our early years, we have impressionable brains that are hungry for information, leaving us vulnerable to the negative effects of traumatic events.

People can learn how to heal from childhood trauma with the right resources and support. The effects of childhood trauma can create significant challenges for our relationships, careers, and quality of life, but trauma recovery is possible.

What is childhood trauma?

Most people have difficult experiences in childhood, so what distinguishes normal “growing pains” from traumatic events? The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) defines a traumatic event as “a frightening, dangerous, or violent event that poses a threat to a child’s life or bodily integrity.” These types of events can be traumatic when a child experiences them directly, but children can also develop trauma responses as a result of witnessing or hearing about a traumatic event that threatens a loved one’s life or physical security. While people are remarkably resilient in the face of traumatic events, these experiences can overwhelm children’s bodies and brains and damage their sense of safety, making it difficult to manage feelings and develop healthy relationships.

Types of childhood trauma

Some examples of childhood trauma include:

• Abuse (e.g., physical, psychological, sexual)
• Neglect
• Exposure to domestic violence
• Unexpected, sudden, or violent loss or separation from a loved one
• Violence in the community
• Effects of poverty
• Serious accidents, such as car accidents
• Living through war or becoming a refugee
• Life-threatening illness (in ourselves or loved ones)
• Natural disasters, such as hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, or wildfires
• Terrorism

It’s important to note that experiencing trauma doesn’t mean a child is destined to have negative outcomes; it just increases the risk. For this reason, it’s important to identify the signs that a child is struggling with the negative impacts of trauma and learn how to heal from childhood trauma as early as possible.

Effects of childhood trauma

Trauma can overwhelm our ability to cope, affecting people in ways both large and small, immediate and delayed. In some children, experiencing childhood trauma can have a significant negative impact. We refer to these effects as “traumatic stress.” Children are more vulnerable to the negative effects of childhood trauma if they’re young at the time of the trauma or experience multiple traumas. Some common effects can include:

• Difficulty sleeping
• Physical symptoms like aches and pains
• Trouble identifying, expressing, and managing feelings
• Feeling numb
• Negative view of the future
• Staying hyper-alert to perceived threats
• Feelings of guilt or shame about the traumatic event
• Intrusive thoughts and memories
• Difficulty establishing healthy relationships
• Dissociation, or feeling disconnected from yourself and the world around you
• Developing mental health challenges such as depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
• Engaging in self-harm, drug or alcohol use, or self-destructive behaviors in an attempt to cope with painful feelings

Stress resulting from childhood trauma can change the way the brain develops and how the body responds to stress in the future. In some cases, the coping strategies children develop impact how they function in adulthood.

“The child has to make their outside world safe in order to survive,” says Dr. Liz Craig, a marriage and family therapist with Lyra Health who specializes in treating childhood trauma. “A child who learns to navigate their volatile parent’s moods might grow up to become a people-pleaser. And a child whose needs and concerns are dismissed by a caregiver may grow up to be an adult with an avoidant attachment style. These behaviors, which served a survival purpose during childhood, can become barriers to thriving once the child matures.”

There are several protective factors that can help mitigate the effects of childhood trauma. For example, having safe, healthy, supportive relationships with caregivers or trusted adults outside the family can build kids’ resilience.

Signs of childhood traumatic stress

Signs of childhood traumatic stress can vary depending on a person’s age and may continue to evolve over time. Here are a few signs that indicate a child might be experiencing traumatic stress:

Preschool children may become fearful when separated from their primary caregiver(s). They may act out the scary event while playing, startle easily, or cry or have nightmares more often. They may stop eating well, which can lead to weight loss, or lose previously acquired skills such as being able to talk or use the restroom.

Elementary school children may show signs of anxiety, depression, fearfulness, or guilt. Being in a state of heightened alert may disrupt their sleep or concentration.

Middle and high school adolescents are more likely to show signs that are common among adults. They may become disruptive, anxious, or depressed, or feel alone. In an effort to cope with difficult feelings, they may engage in self-harm, develop disordered eating patterns, or use alcohol or other drugs.

At all ages, the negative effects of trauma can affect grades and cause children to have trouble in school. Other signs of traumatic stress that may appear at various ages are behavioral changes, difficulty managing intense emotions, problems relating to others, and physical symptoms like aches and pains.

It’s important to note that there could be a variety of reasons why a child might show these signs, so they don’t necessarily mean that a child is experiencing the effects of childhood trauma.

Healing from childhood trauma

If you know or care for a child who has experienced trauma, there are several ways you can offer support and create a safe environment. Helping a child heal from the negative effects of childhood trauma can be complicated. It may require the support of a professional who specializes in evidence-based interventions for trauma and treating children.

Seek professional support. Children who have experienced traumatic stress can benefit greatly from mental health services. “You want a therapist who has experience working with kids,” says  John Cordray, a clinical therapist and childhood trauma specialist with Lyra. He strongly encourages parents and caregivers to interview any potential mental health provider before their first session with the child.

Help the child feel safe. Create a predictable routine so they know what to expect each day. This includes making the child feel comfortable sharing things with you. Let them know you’re there to listen and respond nonjudgmentally, with respect and empathy.

Let them know it’s not their fault. Make sure the child understands that they aren’t responsible for what happened and they didn’t deserve it. Traumatized children are prone to believe they’re somehow at fault, says Dr. Craig. “When children are traumatized, they take in what’s done to them and they [imagine that] it’s something that’s wrong with them, in order to survive,” she says. It helps them make sense of a confusing world.

Be present and calm. Your child’s behaviors may be distressing, but try not to take them personally. Children need permission to feel their feelings without judgment or worrying about their parents’ response. Listen to your child, acknowledge their feelings, correct any misinformation, and try to respond in a way that conveys empathy and understanding.

Introduce confidence-builders. Positive experiences can increase kids’ resilience and self-esteem. Mastering a new skill, dedicating time to a cause, or finding a group that fuels a sense of belonging can promote healing from childhood trauma.

Stay patient and open. One child’s trauma healing journey may not look the same as another’s. It may take longer than you expect. There isn’t one correct roadmap for how to heal childhood trauma.

Childhood trauma in adults

Experiences we have in childhood can continue to affect us as adults. This means that some people who’ve experienced a traumatic event in childhood may be affected by traumatic stress later in life. Signs that someone may be experiencing negative effects of childhood trauma in adulthood can include intense or unpredictable emotions, attempts to regain control through unhealthy ways of coping, physical symptoms, hypersensitivity to threats, changes in thought or behavior problems, and relationship challenges.

It can be tough to take the first step toward healing unresolved childhood trauma as an adult. But overcoming childhood trauma as an adult is possible, and getting support can help you reclaim a sense of safety. For many people who struggle with the effects of childhood trauma as adults, talking with a trained mental health professional who specializes in trauma can be beneficial.

Beyond trauma-focused therapy, practicing healthy coping strategies and avoiding unhealthy ones can help you navigate the effects of childhood trauma. For example, consider including an activity you enjoy, time with a trusted friend or supportive loved one, or meditation into your daily routine, and recognize when unhealthy coping strategies such as using alcohol or drugs may not be serving you in your recovery.

Change doesn’t happen overnight, but taking the first steps toward overcoming the effects of childhood trauma is a major accomplishment. It’s important to be patient and compassionate with yourself throughout the healing process. Remember, it is never too late to heal from the negative effects of childhood trauma; you aren’t broken and you’re more than the traumatic event that affected you.

Finding a therapist for healing childhood trauma

Professional mental health support to address childhood trauma may be available through your employer. If your workplace offers Lyra as a benefit, you (and often your dependents) have access to a large network of high-quality mental health providers that includes trauma therapists and thousands of child specialists.

If your employer doesn’t offer a mental health benefit like Lyra, check with their health plan or EAP. These resources may be able to help you find an appropriate therapist. It’s important to choose a provider who uses evidence-based therapies and provides culturally responsive care.

If you don’t have any resources available through your employer, referrals from people you trust and online therapist directories or therapy platforms may help.

Forging a new path

Healing childhood trauma is a journey that takes time, but the benefits can be truly life-changing. With the right support and treatment, children can learn new ways to cope with challenges and thrive.