What to Do When You Feel Lonely: Start by Connecting with Yourself

Ever felt alone in a crowded room? You’re probably not the only one. Feeling alone and isolated can strike when we believe meaningful relationships are lacking in our lives, regardless of how many people we’re surrounded and supported by. 

Figuring out what to do when you feel lonely often starts with finding ways to reconnect with yourself. This reconnection can help ease feelings of loneliness and restore your self-confidence and sense of purpose.

How to connect with yourself (and others)

Before attempting to invest in new relationships with others, try improving the quality of the relationship you have with yourself. If you’re wondering what to do when feeling lonely, these activities and suggestions can help:

Be compassionate

Self-compassion is a form of recognizing the common humanity we all share. What would you say to someone who is feeling lonely or going through a hard time? Try soothing self-talk by reminding yourself, “This is a stressful situation and I’m doing my best,” or “I will be loving and kind to myself right now.” 

Practice positive solitude

Being intentional with your alone time means choosing to spend moments in pleasant, meaningful ways. While solitude may feel awkward at first, it can support creativity, self-awareness, and personal growth. Most of all, it can help us learn to enjoy our own company and feel content within ourselves.

You can consider journaling, taking a solo walk, meditating, creating art, or some other form of mindfulness. Be intentional about this time and focus on enjoying being in the moment.

Get involved in your community

Volunteering our time to causes we care about takes our focus away from unhelpful thoughts and helps us find fulfillment in serving others. You don’t need to invest significant time or energy to reap its benefits. Offering just a couple hours a month to something that’s personally meaningful to you is a good way to meet people who share your values and root yourself in supporting something bigger than yourself. 

Connect with nature

Spending time outdoors can also reduce feelings of loneliness. Studies show being in touch with nature can positively affect our mental health while also helping us see things from a different point of view. 

Be proactive

Let people who are close to you know how you’re feeling. Social connections can be crucial for our mental well-being, and even having a short conversation over the phone or making plans to grab a cup of coffee can be comforting.

Talk to an expert

Whether it’s building upon some of these examples or identifying more options that make sense for your life, a mental health coach or therapist can help you navigate the times you feel lonely and nurture quality connections with others.  It’s not always easy to know what to do when you feel alone. But cultivating a strong relationship with yourself is a way to foster feelings of connection in and around you.