When my kids were toddlers, my husband and I had a complex division of labor. We both worked full-time and, as is often the case for working parents of little ones, there was always way more that needed to be done than we had time for. It felt like we were constantly in motion trying to keep on top of all the chores and errands and general management of our house and tiny kids.

To manage the flurry of activity that took take place at the end of each day, we decided early on that one parent would take care of the dishes after dinner while the other gave the kids their nightly bath. Sleep-deprived and mentally exhausted by the end of the day, I soon found myself looking forward to “dishes nights” and feeling tired just thinking about “bath nights.”

Luckily for me, not too long into this routine I read an article about personal values and childrearing and had a much-needed wake-up moment. You see, I had really wanted kids. Like really, really wanted them, and nothing can describe how happy I was to become a parent. And yet, there I was dreading the so-sweet-and-gone-before-you-know-it bath time, trying to figure out how to bribe my husband to let me do extra dishes to avoid it.

So what was wrong with me? In a word, burnout.

What burnout is

Researchers usually talk about burnout in terms of work, and it’s described in slightly different ways depending on the type of work causing it. It is generally a combination of emotional exhaustion, feelings of ineffectiveness, and a sense of disconnection or profound negativity. In other words, it’s feeling so overwhelmed and detached, things that used to matter don’t anymore.

What burnout isn’t

We often think that being busy or working too much is the same as being burned out, but they’re actually different in important ways. Work overload, or the perception that work demands exceed our capacity to get them done, is a pretty common experience in many professions and is a part of burnout, but not the whole thing.

Beyond being overloaded, situations that cause burnout also include a lack of autonomy, a lack of fairness, or some ambiguity about what we’re supposed to be doing — which takes us away from what’s meaningful about our work.

How to prevent burnout (or pivot if you’re experiencing it)

First, let me say that there are many things that seem like they would help alleviate burnout that don’t. Most of the things we do to relieve short-term feelings of mental and emotional exhaustion – zoning out in front of a screen, unhealthy food and alcohol consumption, combing through social media feeds – don’t actually improve our overall energy or solve any of the issues that are contributing to burnout, and tend to make us feel more exhausted or disconnected in the long run.

The way out of burnout for many people is to bring back the meaning that’s been lost in the overload. Think about the things that are the most important to you in terms of your life. How do you aspire to be at your job? What are the most meaningful elements of your relationships with your coworkers, friends, partner, and family? What are the adjectives you would most want to describe you in these different roles?

As I mentioned, thinking about my most important values as a parent was a wake-up call for me. So I set aside time to sit down and really think about my values, writing them down to give myself a physical touchstone. What I came up with was “present, playful, and connected.” That night, I tried to focus on bath time in a new way. I really paid attention to the experience my kids were having in the water, and I engaged with them in a fun, silly way. Rather than wearing me out, focusing on these things brought vitality, purpose, and connection to my evening, despite my end-of-the-day exhaustion.

This isn’t just my experience. Multiple studies show that connecting to what’s meaningful matters when we’re stressed and overloaded. One study found that people who spent time thinking and writing about something that was meaningful to them had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol in a stressful situation.

Another study showed that while being overloaded at work clearly contributes to the emotional exhaustion, disconnection, and negativity of burnout, that’s not the whole story. “Values congruence,” or the degree to which work is connected to personal values, was also related to these aspects of burnout, as well as the feeling of being generally ineffective. So while overload matters, being connected to your values may matter even more.

Values Are Your Superpower

If you want to reduce or prevent burnout, managing your workload is important, but probably not as important as connecting what you’re doing to your highest intentions and values.

For me, although the days of giving my kids a bath have long since passed, I continue to check in with my “mom values” when I interact with them – particularly in the interactions that sometimes feel like a chore or challenge my patience – like driving them to practice or getting them out the door in the morning. I lean in, think about how to be present, playful, and connected with them, and find myself remembering again how lucky I am to be their mom.

CONTACT US
If you want additional support, Lyra can connect you to a mental health solution that is right for your needs. You can get started today if Lyra is offered by your employer. Sign up now.

And check in frequently here or follow us on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter for more insights into optimal well-being.

DISCLAIMER
The content of this blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jennifer Gregg, Ph.D. is an Associate Professor at San Jose State University and a clinical psychologist who researches, delivers, and trains acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and other evidence-based mindfulness interventions with difficult populations. She is co-author of The Diabetes Lifestyle Book.

This post is part of a series for practicing mental health professionals.

In a best-case-scenario, evidence-based psychotherapy practices will evolve at a rapid rate, advancing what is possible for our clients. Right now, the science of mindfulness, as well as acceptance and compassion-focused therapies, are growing at warp speed. We clinicians are steadily presented with new treatment options for anxiety and depression that are grounded in centuries of meditation tradition and tested and honed by advanced research.

It’s understandable that this rapid emergence of new methods and techniques can seem a little daunting. After years of education and many more years of practical experience, do we really want to roll up our sleeves and learn a whole new mode of therapy? Would we even have the time and energy for that?

Thankfully, we don’t need to begin again from scratch when we wish to work with innovations in mindfulness and self-compassion. We can build upon our existing knowledge base and our expertise by integrating new ways of working into our own frameworks and methods. As an example of this modular, user-friendly approach, let’s take a look at the basic concept of self-compassion.

What is self-compassion?

The most common definition of self-compassion in Western psychotherapy circles comes from Dr. Kristin Neff (2003). Based upon her interpretation of Buddhist philosophy, Dr. Neff’s model of self-compassion is comprised of three elements:

• Mindfulness
• Self-kindness
• A sense of common humanity

The quality of mindfulness involves focused and flexible awareness of the present moment, with acceptance. While often pursued as an end in itself in current psychotherapies, mindfulness has traditionally been taught as a foundation for the development of other, vital qualities of well-being and personal liberation. This is precisely how we use mindfulness in the training of self-compassion today.

The second element of self-compassion, self-kindness, entails regarding oneself with warmth and care, rather than criticism and harsh judgments. The third element, common humanity, calls for the recognition that all human beings face suffering and pain as they move through life. A sense of common humanity also allows for insight into the connection between one’s own experience and the experience of others.

Self-Compassion as a path to increased well-being

Taken together, these components can bring forth a sensitivity to our own suffering. Coupled with a willingness and commitment to take action to alleviate and prevent this suffering, they contribute to our well-being and flourishing (Neff, 2003; Neff, Hsieh, & Dejitterat, 2005; Neff, Rude, & Kirkpatrick, 2007).

The research of Neff and her colleagues has also demonstrated that self-compassion is correlated with important positive dimensions of our wellness, such as life satisfaction, feelings of social connectedness (Neff, Kirkpatrick, & Rude, 2007), personal initiative, and experiencing positive emotions (Neff, Rude, & Kirkpatrick, 2007). People who report high levels of self-compassion also report high levels of many useful psychological traits, including autonomy, competence, and emotional intelligence (Neff, 2003; Neff, Rude, et al., 2007).

Several studies have found that self-compassion can serve as an important, active process variable in psychotherapy. For example, one study of compassion-focused therapy (CFT; Gilbert 2010; Schanche, Stiles, McCullough, Svartberg, & Nielsen, 2011) found that self-compassion was an important mediator in reduction of negative emotions associated with personality disorders. The study recommended self-compassion as a target for therapeutic intervention. In fact, in a meta-analysis of research concerning both clinical and nonclinical settings, compassion-focused interventions were found to be significantly effective (Hofmann et al., 2011). Research has shown that self-compassion can be distinguished from self-esteem and predicts some aspects of well-being better than self-esteem (Neff & Vonk, 2009).

Writing a Compassionate Letter to Yourself

Given this growing and encouraging research, it seems like a good idea to begin exploring how self-compassion might empower your work, even in small ways. I invite you to consider a classic compassion-focused technique – writing a compassionate letter to yourself. This is an exercise you can use with your clients – and also with yourself. In fact, it’s probably best to learn this exercise by first working with your own inner critic and practicing self-compassionate responses.

This exercise is particularly useful when working with shame-prone clients but can be applied to anyone who might benefit from developing greater self-compassion. When you think about it, this applies to most of us! You might choose to use self-compassionate letter-writing as an alternative to cognitive restructuring; the technique can be used at just about any point in the course of treatment.

In the moment, we will direct our attention to a difficult topic. Rather than treating ourselves with harsh judgments or “tough love,” we’ll use kind and accepting language, and validate and hold space for ourselves, just as we would with a beloved friend who is hurting. This exercise is taken from my book, The Compassionate Mind Guide to Overcoming Anxiety (2012). After you engage in it, you might wish to reflect on what you’ve learned, either in discussion with a trusted colleague or in a brief written reflection.

If you choose to use this technique with clients, it’s a good idea to practice the exercise during a session and then discuss the client’s experience. After this real-time learning, the technique might be suggested as a homework exercise to cultivate self-compassion in the flow of everyday life.

In preparation, set aside some time when you can engage in this exercise without interruption and without hurry. Find a space that feels private and safe. Sit in a chair in which your back is straight and supported, and you can feel your feet touching the ground.

As you begin, take a minute or two to engage in mindful awareness of the flow of your breath. Maintain a slow, relaxing rhythm as you breathe, paying attention to the movement of your breath in and out of the body. After a few minutes of mindful breathing, shift your attention to the flow of your thoughts, and reflect on your current life situation. What conflicts, problems, or self-criticisms come to mind? What emotions arise within you?

With your next natural exhale let go of these thoughts, and on your next natural inhale shift your attention to an image of yourself as a compassionate, loving, and wise person who possesses wisdom and emotional strength. You are unconditionally accepting of all that you are, in this moment, and are completely non-judgmental. Your compassionate self radiates emotional warmth. For a moment, recognize the calmness and wisdom that you possess and the physical sensations that accompany this. Recognize the strength and healing quality of a vast and deep kindness. Recognize that this loving kindness, this powerful compassion, exists within you as an abundant reservoir of strength.

Remember to acknowledge and validate your feelings and remind yourself that there are many good reasons for the distress you are currently experiencing. Your automatic pilot has evolved to make you feel and react as you do. You were not designed to deal with the particular pressures and complexities of your current social environment. Your learning history has presented you with strong challenges, and situations that have caused you pain. Can you open yourself to a compassionate understanding that your struggle is a natural part of life, and that it’s not your fault?

Reflect on this, and then when you’re ready, write a letter to yourself from the perspective of that deeply compassionate, wise, and unconditionally accepting person. If you feel comfortable, you can imagine yourself as this loving, kind presence, an expression of your innate loving kindness and intuitive wisdom. Try to fill at least one side of a piece of lined paper.

If you’re working with a therapist, you may choose to take this letter with you to your next session, where you can read it together and reflect upon the words and feelings that you have allowed yourself to express. If you’re working independently, set aside some time to mindfully read the letter back to yourself with great care. Let yourself hear the words and feel the emotional tone of compassion.

Please remember that each time you practice a self-compassion exercise, you’re learning to come into closer contact with your compassionate emotional regulation system, and are gradually developing your compassionate mind. So feel free to practice as often as you wish, and as often as you can.

REFERENCES
Gilbert, P. (2009). The compassionate mind: A new approach to life’s challenges. London: Constable and Robinson.

Hofmann, S. G., Grossman, P., & Hinton, D. E. (2011). Loving-kindness and compas- sion meditation: Potential for psychological interventions. Clinical Psychology Review 31, 1126–1132.

Neff, K. D. (2003). The development and validation of a scale to measure self- compassion. Self and Identity 2, 223–250.

Neff, K. D., Hsieh, Y., & Dejitterat, K. (2005). Self-compassion, achievement goals, and coping with academic failure. Self and Identity 4, 263–287.

Neff, K. D., Kirkpatrick, K., & Rude, S. S. (2007). Self-compassion and its link to adaptive psychological functioning. Journal of Research in Personality 41, 139–154.

Neff, K. D., Rude, S. S., & Kirkpatrick, K. (2007). An examination of self-compassion in relation to positive psychological functioning and personality traits. Journal of Research in Personality 41, 908–916.

Neff, K. D., & Vonk, R. (2009). Self-compassion versus global self-esteem: Two differ- ent ways of relating to oneself. Journal of Personality 77, 23–50.

Schanche, E., Stiles, T. C., McCullough, L., Svartberg, M., & Nielsen, G. H. (2011). The relationship between activating affects, inhibitory affects, and self-compassion in patients with Cluster C personality disorders. Psychotherapy 48, 293.

Tirch, D. (2012). The Compassionate Mind Guide to Overcoming Anxiety. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger.

CONTACT US
If you want help learning to respond to your emotions with mindfulness, acceptance, and compassion, Lyra can connect you to a therapist. You can get started today if Lyra is offered by your employer. Sign up now.

If you would like to explore joining the Lyra network, learn more about how we work with providers and apply today.

And check in frequently here or follow us on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter for more insights into optimal well-being.

DISCLAIMER: The content of this blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Our $45 million series B round enables us to develop new technologies and reach more people in need.

Imagine that you’re navigating a difficult time in your life — feeling overwhelmed by work, struggling with an unhealthy relationship, coping with persistent anxiety or depression. Where would you turn for help? How would you know what care was right for you? How would you pay for it?

Too many of us are faced with these questions. A surprising 50% of people will have a mental health condition at some point in their lifetime. Unfortunately, accessing good care is shockingly difficult. Among therapists in health plan networks, just 10% are accepting new patients and exclusively using evidence-based techniques (treatments clinically proven to work). It’s hard enough finding someone to talk to and even harder finding a great therapist with the right expertise for your needs. It’s no surprise that six out of seven people do not receive effective care.

What makes this outcome particularly sad is that effective treatments exist. Short-term interventions like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) have been applied to a wide range of problems and are proven to reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, stress, pain, and insomnia. With CBT, patients identify specific goals and then learn new skills, new ways of thinking, and new behaviors to improve their lives. CBT has been studied in hundreds of clinical trials and consistently delivers impressive results, usually after only 2-3 months. CBT, among other evidence-based therapies, including Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and the Gottman Method, can be life-changing.

How did we get here?

When we launched Lyra three years ago, our mission was clear — to develop technology that makes it easy for people to access high quality mental health care. Just as technology has transformed how we shop, play, learn, and connect, so too can software and data science create a fundamentally better mental health experience.

Lyra’s unique technology, supported by a human touch from our terrific care team, can deliver experiences that are warm, confidence-inspiring, and confidential. We enable patients to find the best available therapists and access support whenever needed. We help therapists connect with the right patients and improve the effectiveness of their practices. We empower businesses to understand the quality of the care they are providing for their employees. And we use technology to build new datasets on cost and outcomes, powering feedback loops that further improve performance.

Our results thus far

Today Lyra is available to more than 230,000 people. We’ve been fortunate to work with great partners like eBay and uber as early customers. We’ve demonstrated that we can make the system work meaningfully better by driving higher engagement, rapid access to quality care, and impressive rates of clinical improvement.

Our engineers have built an intuitive onboarding experience that makes it easy for people to understand treatment options. Our data scientists and clinicians have created matching algorithms to connect people with the best providers based on needs and preferences. Our product makes it easy for therapists to accept and manage Lyra patients. We’ve shown that we can automate processes that have historically relied on persistent manual effort. We’re fired up by the impact we’re making and the patients we are helping every day.

The next chapter

Lyra is just getting started. Today we are pleased to announce that we’ve raised $45 million in new financing. We are grateful for the support of our investors and for their confidence that we can build a category-defining company. We look forward to using our new funding to develop technology-based solutions that further remove barriers and improve outcomes. We will continue to show how software, data, and a human touch can be blended to make it easier for people to learn new skills, change thoughts and behaviors, and live happier and more fulfilling lives. As we understand more about patient symptoms, preferences, and outcomes, we will use machine learning to enhance our intelligent matching and deliver the best outcome for each individual. We will keep working until we put the right care at your fingertips.

Care to join us?

Starting today, Lyra has a brand new look, one that we feel reflects our values, who we are, and how far we’ve come since first launching in January 2016.

The Lyra star then and now

Our name and our iconic star were inspired by the constellation Lyra – one of the brightest in the night sky. This group of stars helped ancient seafarers find their way safely home, just as Lyra the company helps people navigate the hard-to-traverse world of mental health.

Since launching, we’ve evolved from helping people navigate the first steps of care to helping them through the care experience from start to finish. We’re creating a new system of care that’s easy to access, personalized, engaging, measurable, and most importantly, effective.

With a new, sleeker rendition of the Lyra star, we pay homage to our history, while celebrating our new direction.

When we set out to redesign the Lyra brand, we wanted to make it feel just like us – modern and hi-tech, but also calming and supportive. We also strove to create something that our diverse audiences – members, providers, and employers – could relate to. Not an easy task, but we are really proud of what we’ve created, thanks in big part to the great team at Emotive Brand.

Our brand system

Additional elements of our new branding system capture the brave spirit of the millions who suffer from mental health issues every year. When someone reaches out to Lyra for help, it’s often a very vulnerable, humbling moment, but it requires strength and honesty to take that first step. We wanted our new brand to feel comforting and supportive, but also confident and strong. This is reflected in the soothing color palette, the diversity of people in our photography, and engaging illustrations that show how finding care can be approachable and empowering.

If you have Lyra as an employee benefit, the best way to experience our brand is through the online tool when you sign up. Or, explore the rest of our website and follow us on Facebook, LinkedIn, or Twitter. We hope you love it as much as we do.