Lyra Health logo
Request a demo
Member login Request a demo

“I’m past the point of caring at work. I’m done!”

Sean, an early career software engineer and former therapy client of mine, had repeated the phrase “I’m done!” so many times that he half-heartedly joked about it being his mantra. But we both knew that the chronic job stress he felt was no joke. He often worried out loud that he was fundamentally inadequate — not smart enough or hard-working enough, even though all evidence pointed to the contrary. Instead, I suspected that the real culprit was burnout.

Life hadn’t always been this way for Sean. In therapy, we easily retraced his steps into a state of burnout. It started with Sean defining himself based on his work. Over time, his career had grown into a disproportionately dominant part of his identity. That led to him investing more of his time and effort in work in order to prove his value to his team, his managers, and himself.

Sean described a fast-paced onslaught of work that kept him busy into most evenings and weekends. As he invested more in work, it became harder for him to pull away from it mentally, even when he was physically away from his laptop and outside of business hours. While he believed in his company’s corporate mission, he struggled to sustain motivation as his role dramatically changed without his input, and recognition from his manager began to dwindle. The more he doubled down on work, the more frustrated he became by his lack of productivity. Soon the frustration gave way to a deep sense of apathy, which undermined Sean’s confidence.

It was at this point that he realized he had de-prioritized other critical aspects of his life — his friendships, romantic relationships, hobbies — even his exercise routine.

Sean was showing all the signs of burnout.

Understanding Burnout

Many of us have heard the term “burnout,” but our understanding of it may be vague. Historically, burnout hasn’t been considered a clinical diagnosis, although the World Health Organization this week formally recognized it as a medical condition affecting one’s functioning in an occupational context. Burnout is a psychological phenomenon comprised of three defining characteristics: exhaustion, depersonalization, and a feeling of ineffectiveness.

Exhaustion refers to a sense of feeling emotionally and cognitively drained by the demands of a job that overwhelms us. In this state, it’s a slog to maintain enough motivation and attentional capacity just to get through the workday. Exhaustion was the sign of burnout that Sean most readily identified with because he felt that it now defined his everyday experience.

Depersonalization, also known as cynicism, occurs when we simply begin to check out at work. Sean would describe this as his “I’m done!” moments. When we feel like our best efforts at work are futile, usually due to factors outside of our control, we begin to distance ourselves from the job, take less pride in our work, and care less about the consequences.

Feelings of ineffectiveness arise when we feel that we can’t make the impact we want. Even if the challenges we’re facing are due to organizational problems, we sometimes personalize the reasons for struggling and chalk it up to our own lack of ability. This can lead to the kind of undermined confidence Sean experienced, which led him to question whether he was even in the right profession. Lack of acknowledgement or appreciation from superiors can exacerbate these feelings.

Sean is far from alone in his experience of burnout. Prevalence estimates can vary by profession and geography, but a recent Gallup poll found that 23 percent of employees surveyed felt burned out at work “very often or always” and 44 percent said they sometimes felt burned out. Studies suggest that rates of burnout are on the rise across many professions. While individual factors such as one’s age and social support can increase risk of burnout, many risk factors are associated with organizational culture, occupational demands, and workplace policies. For example, role ambiguity, like what Sean was experiencing, has been associated with greater likelihood of burnout symptoms.

You may be thinking, “These are all factors outside of my direct control,” and while that’s somewhat true, I have some good news. There’s a lot you can do to help prevent burnout, or lessen it if it’s already affecting you.

Personal Strategies to Address Burnout

Your first step in battling burnout: prioritize self-care. We know that certain things are universally beneficial for stress reduction — getting enough sleep, nurturing our relationships, and staying physically active. But oftentimes, these self-care fundamentals are the first to go when work stress strikes, even though that’s exactly when we need self-care the most. Instead of obsessing over choosing the best possible self-care strategy, try focusing first on what’s getting in the way of self-care. Usually it involves losing sight of our other values outside of work.

If this is the case for you, it’s helpful to pause, particularly during stressful moments, and redirect your attention to the big picture. What really matters to you in life? What gives your life a sense of purpose and fulfillment? Social justice? Spirituality? Friendship? When you look back on your life 20 years from now, what do you want to say you built your life around?

Once you have a sense of what you truly value, you can work backwards and begin re-aligning your priorities, and your self-care activities, accordingly. When we invest in our relationships, our self-care, and our connection to chosen communities, we’re more well-rounded, more fulfilled, and better equipped to handle life’s stressors.

When I worked with Sean, he identified his family relationships as a key value that he lost sight of when he was investing heavily in work. Once he identified that value, he began to build out a plan for how he could spend his time nurturing those relationships — even if it meant being away from his computer and smartphone.

One of the most common concerns I hear from clients is that they feel compelled to be “always on” in their jobs. That means being available and vigilant outside of work hours on all channels — email, instant messenger, even text message. But when we’re hyper-responsive, we’re often positively reinforced to continue operating at that level of responsiveness, which can create unsustainable expectations. It’s essential to set boundaries so that when we’re engaged in life outside of work, we are present and attuned to the people and activities in that moment. That means putting the work-related computer and smartphone tasks aside, just like Sean did, unless it’s absolutely critical that you be on call.

Workplace Strategies to Address Burnout

Paradoxically, taking regular breaks while on the job is one of the most important things you can do to enhance your productivity. But it’s not enough to just stop working for a little while, you need to deliberately and proactively shift your attention away from work during that break via a process called psychological detachment. By focusing on the present moment, rather than the failures of yesterday or worries about tomorrow, we can experience the true benefits of a break. That can be as simple as directing your full attention to your breathing, or to the person with whom you’re engaged in conversation.

Think about how you communicate your needs at work. There will always be deadlines that require us to buckle down and focus on the job. But if you find that work leaves you feeling chronically overextended and under-appreciated, it’s important to speak up about it as an unsustainable situation. Think about what solutions might lead to a win-win situation for you and your team. For example, is it possible to delegate some tasks on your to-do list to people who are better able to handle them, either because of their expertise or time availability?

Try to determine whether the problem is the volume of work or the content of the work. Some people experience burnout because they’re not challenged by their job or feel that their skills and talents are misaligned with their role. How could you suggest a shift in your responsibilities so that you’re making meaningful contributions that advance your employer’s mission but also harness your professional strengths?

Role ambiguity can be an especially burdensome stressor. Few things cause more anxiety than a clear lack of direction or purpose. Consider checking in regularly with your manager on the top priorities for your job and the corresponding expectations to help prevent you from filling in the blanks with assumptions and guesses. Sean, talking with his boss about how the changing expectations of his role felt mismatched with his qualifications led to a productive discussion about redesigning Sean’s performance metrics.

When to Seek Support

Lastly, keep in mind that sometimes we need a little help, and that’s OK. If your coping techniques and self-care strategies aren’t enough, or if you’re simply having trouble implementing these strategies, consider talking with a stress management coach or a licensed therapist. These professionals are trained to help you identify causes of stress and guide you through the use of evidence-based strategies to promote resilience.

Through individual therapy, Sean learned to redistribute more of his time and attention toward valued activities outside of work, such as spending uninterrupted one-on-one time with family members. He also developed communication tools that helped him successfully negotiate more role clarity from his manager and more ability to delegate non-essential tasks. What had been a period of professional crisis transitioned into a time of professional and personal growth. Sean found that he was able to care about work again– but this time, to a healthier degree. He was far from “done” after all.

 

CONTACT US
If you want help with burnout or other mental health issues, Lyra can connect you to a behavioral health solution that is right for your needs. You can get started today if Lyra is offered by your employer. Sign up now.

And check in frequently here or follow us on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter for more insights into optimal well-being.

DISCLAIMER
The content of this blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

A couple of weeks ago, I wanted to quit everything. I was supposed to be writing reports, finishing progress notes, calling clients back, preparing presentations, and drafting blog posts like this one. But I was struggling to keep up with everything, and falling more and more behind by the day. And just when I thought I was at my limit, a huge, unexpected bill came crashing down.

I fell face-first on my bed and didn’t move for hours. It was like a huge anchor was weighing my whole body down. I started to become consumed by “what if” worries: What if I don’t get my reports done on time? What if I can’t pay the bills? What if my clients stop showing up? And even, what if we become homeless?!

I was stressed…or was I anxious…or maybe both. It’s hard to know — we use these words so interchangeably that they can seem synonymous. But knowing the difference could mean knowing how to best cope with these all-too-common yet difficult experiences. So, what are we talking about when we say we’re experiencing stress or anxiety? It turns out, there are some important distinguishing factors.

Understanding Stress

When I wanted to quit everything, it was because there was so much on my plate at once. Earlier, I mentioned some issues I was facing that are common in starting a private practice. What I didn’t mention is that my wife is pregnant with our first child and we’re desperate to learn as much as we can about becoming parents.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of things happening in my life. These “things” are what I would consider stressors. A stressor is any circumstance or event that causes feelings of tension, strain, and mental anguish. Think about the house chores that still need to get done, the last fight you had with someone you love, or that work project you’re procrastinating on. Each event is considered a stressor to the extent that it evokes feelings of stress.

How do we define stress?

One way is to frame it in terms of our fight-or-flight response. Our adrenal glands pump out hormones that prepare our bodies to deal with a perceived threat in the environment. This is when you can feel your heart pounding faster, your body temperature rise, and your muscles tense up.

While this response can be useful when we need to respond to a stressor, too much stress can overwhelm our psychological and physical well-being. If our bodies are frequently in hyperdrive, we may be at greater risk for headaches, gastrointestinal issues, muscle pain, hypertension, and even heart attacks. Stress can also negatively affect sleeping and eating patterns, focus and attention, and productivity.

One defining feature of stress that separates it from anxiety is its dependence on stressors. Once the underlying stressor is relieved, so is the stress. For example, you’ll likely feel the pressure of stress rise as a huge work deadline approaches, then peak the day before the due date, and immediately fall once you meet the deadline.

How is that different from anxiety?

We’ve all been in stressful situations before and can identify stress when we feel it. The hallmark signs are physical feelings of tension and psychological overwhelm or distress. Stress usually goes away once the identified stressor does. Anxiety, on the other hand, tends to stick around.

Anxiety is a general feeling of nervousness or unease, even in the absence of an identifiable stressor.

Like stress, anxiety is a very common experience. Anybody with a newborn knows the constant feeling of concern for their baby’s safety, even when you just checked on the baby moments before. Most of us can also identify with fears about the future, our health, and the welfare of our family.

Notice that the hallmark of anxiety is worry and fear. Our minds are built to predict and forecast potential dangers in order to ensure our safety, even if there aren’t any dangers present. This is what makes being human a unique blessing and curse. Predicting potential threats allows us to plan ahead and solve problems before they happen.

But if prediction is a superpower, rigidly responding to every prediction is our kryptonite. We can end up spending more time either suppressing or giving in to our worries than pursuing our life goals. Procrastinating on this blog might temporarily relieve my worry about it being good enough (until the deadline hits), but it does nothing for my professional goals. If I keep waking up my newborn because I’m afraid he’s not breathing, he might never find a healthy sleeping pattern.

So, to recap: stress is the body’s natural response to stressful situations and usually lessens once the stressful situation ends. Anxiety is the mind’s tendency to create potential stressful situations, even when there isn’t one. Stress and anxiety often occur together, which makes it even harder to differentiate between the two. When you experience a lot of stress for a prolonged period of time, there is an increased risk of developing anxiety. If there are tons of stressors that keep piling up, your mind tends to be on the lookout for more of them. And when you have anxiety, everything feels much more stressful.

When to Get Help

I touched on how stress and anxiety are useful and adaptive responses to ensure our survival and help us flourish, but it bears repeating. Stress is a normal response to everyday, difficult situations and events. Way back in the Stone Age, stress served the purpose of energizing us so we could run away from danger and toward food, water, and shelter (fight or flight). Anxiety serves a similar purpose and is equally as normal, but a bit more advanced. Remember, the hallmark of anxiety is worry, and worry provides us the ability to predict what might go wrong. Predicting what might go wrong helps us prevent mistakes and pitfalls.

Stress and anxiety in and of themselves are not necessarily problems and can even be helpful. However, over-responding to these worries instead of paying attention to our moment-to-moment experiences can lead to debilitating mental health disorders.

Statistics indicate that anxiety disorders occur in nearly 1 in 5 people in a given year and are the most diagnosed mental health condition in the U.S. For some people, worries overtake their entire day and interfere with their ability to work, socialize with others, or even leave the house.

When to seek out help for anxiety is a very personal decision. As a psychologist, I have a bias toward getting help early, even when the stress or anxiety I’m experiencing isn’t debilitating. I know that going to therapy for everyday worries and stressors can help build resiliency when life gets really hard.

Considering therapy becomes even more crucial when stress or anxiety is interfering with your ability to function well in some area of your life. For example, are you so worried about your work performance that you’re calling in sick? Do you cancel plans with friends to avoid social contact? Maybe you’re having a hard time sleeping, eating, and focusing on everyday life because you’re overwhelmed with stress.

Quality therapy is about developing better coping strategies so you can handle overwhelming thoughts and feelings without them overtaking you. Therapists help you confront stressors, view your thoughts from a different perspective, and move toward doing what matters most in your life. Whether you’re experiencing stress, anxiety or both, keep in mind that going to therapy should be based on need and desire, not stigma. To be human is to experience stress and anxiety, and it’s okay to be human. It’s okay to not be okay.

CONTACT US
If you want help with stress or anxiety, Lyra can connect you to a behavioral health solution that is right for your needs. You can get started today if Lyra is offered by your employer. Sign up now.

And check in frequently here or follow us on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter for more insights into optimal well-being.

DISCLAIMER
The content of this blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Zachary Isoma, Psy.D. is a clinical psychologist and co-owner of Harbor Psychology, serving the Greater Tampa Bay area. He specializes in practicing acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) with men who struggle with anxiety and have difficulties expressing their thoughts and feelings. He is the founder of the Tampa Bay ACT peer consultation group and provides trainings, workshops, and seminars on ACT to students and professionals.

Ben and Keisha, married eight years, present at their first therapy session saying, “We can’t communicate anymore!” Idina, the therapist, begins to work on “I-messages” and Ben rolls his eyes and interrupts while Keisha is talking and she turns away, displaying contempt at his comments. Although Idina continues to encourage active listening, the discussion quickly escalates into crying and shouting. The couple doesn’t return for their next session.

Clarifying the couple’s goals for therapy

What do we really know about our clients when we first meet them and hear their presenting issues? Do we have insight into the milieu of their lives and the complex circumstances that led them to seek professional help? When couples present for therapy, therapists often assume that both partners want to actively work on their relationship, when in reality one or both may have a foot out the door and are looking for validation so they can say, “We tried.”

In other situations, couples are seeking either a brief consultation on a particular problem, or feedback on how they’re doing with communication or other dynamics. As therapists, we want to avoid applying our usual set of techniques stereotypically to whomever walks in the door.

Evidence-based practice and ethical standards require us to conduct some form of assessment that helps us understand the total context of our clients’ presenting issues. And assessment tools allow us to hone in on the exact problem areas that need to be targeted in treatment. Forgoing an assessment is akin to the internist prescribing medication without doing lab work when a patient comes in with flu symptoms, or the orthopedic surgeon recommending back surgery without ordering an MRI.

Using assessment to pinpoint the issues at hand

In couple therapy, it’s best to combine assessment with a relationship history that explores basic dimensions of couple dynamics such as clear communication, effective problem-solving, and sharing of joint tasks. This focus can keep us from wandering through a thicket of momentary complaints or last night’s arguments and lead us to a broader contextual understanding and a comprehensive treatment plan.

If, for example, we assume that communication problems (the most frequent issue couples present), can be addressed mainly through the use of “I-messages” alone, we can easily fail to address the resentment and frustration partners may have built up over nagging, or refusing to accept the other’s habits and preferences. On the other hand, if we blithely proceed with a course of therapy with a couple who only wants brief consultation to cope with intrusive in-laws, we risk them skipping sessions since their most pressing issue is not being directly addressed.

Consumers of therapy today are much more aware of the nature and impact of therapy through popular media, and they expect more incisive approaches to address their concerns. Busy, fast-paced lives packed with travel, deadlines, child care, commuting, 24-7 access to information, and other pressures intensifies the need for focused, efficient treatment.

Assessment can help achieve better outcomes

Perhaps most importantly, evidence-based therapies that utilize outcomes assessment throughout the course of treatment are associated with better treatment outcomes. Assessment allows the therapist to track treatment progress over time and respond early when problems arise. And research has consistently shown that when therapists gather assessment data at the start of treatment and track outcomes data throughout the course of treatment, clients are far likelier to benefit from therapy.

While this discussion is focused on assessing couples, clinicians would do well to identify the assessment tools that fit their own practice model and use them regularly. These tools will not only provide more insight and penetrating grasp of clients’ lives, but will also forge clearer paths to planning relevant treatment on a session-by-session basis, and prevent wandering down roads that our clients do not want to travel.

For those of you interested in exploring assessment in couples therapy, here are some recommended resources:

Paper and pencil or automated inventories, such as:

Systematic observation, such as:

References
Beavers, W. R., Hampson, R. B., & Hulgus, Y. F. (1985). Commentary: The Beavers systems approach to family assessment. Family process, 24 (3), 398-405.

Grotevant, H. D., & Carlson, C. I. (1987). Family interaction coding systems: A descriptive review. Family Process, 26 (1), 49-74.

Snyder, D. K. (1997). Marital satisfaction inventory, revised (MSI-R).

Spanier, G. B. (2001). Dyadic adjustment scale (DAS): User’s manual. MHS.

Stuart, R. B., & Jacobson, B. (1987). Couple’s Pre-counseling Inventory: Counselor’s Guide; CPCI. Research Press.

Yingling, L. C., Miller, W. E., McDonald, A. L., & Galewaler, S. T. (2013). GARF Assessment Sourcebook. Routledge.

 

CONTACT US
If you want help connecting with a therapist, Lyra can assist you. You can get started today if Lyra is offered by your employer. Sign up now.

If you would like to explore joining the Lyra network, learn more about how we work with providers and apply today.

And check in frequently here or follow us on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter for more insights into optimal well-being.

DISCLAIMER
The content of this blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr. Terry Patterson is a licensed psychologist in San Francisco with decades of experience as a therapist, professor, and clinical trainer and supervisor. He is board-certified as a Couple & Family Psychologist and also treats depression, anxiety, and transitional issues in adults and adolescents.

Is your workplace somewhere you feel safe, respected, valued, and empowered to do your best work? Given that most U.S. adults spend much of their waking hours on the job, it’s a question well worth asking. When you consider that one in five of those adults experience a mental health condition, it becomes even more urgent.

While a completely stress-free workplace is unrealistic, companies do have an important role to play in creating a workplace that promotes mental health. This not only makes the workplace more pleasant experience for your staff — multiple studies show that promoting mental health in the workplace is good for businesses’ bottom line. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) estimates that untreated mental illness costs the U.S. over $100 billion per year in lost productivity. And a 2016 World Health Organization study revealed that investment in mental health care yields a fourfold return in the form of better health and productivity in the workplace.

“It’s the right thing to do but it’s also the smart thing to do, and I think employers are really getting that,” says Nancy Spangler, founder and CEO of Spangler Associates. “I think part of the reason employers are taking an interest in this is because it’s very, very costly not to.”

Indeed, more than half of employers in a Sept. 2018 Willis Towers Watson survey said they planned to invest in behavioral health to help manage rising health care costs. In April, the U.S. Department of Labor launched an online Mental Health Toolkit full of information for employers looking to support their employees’ mental health.

The responsibility of supporting employee mental health may seem daunting, but there are many things employers can do to achieve this and boost overall job satisfaction and productivity. What follows are some key steps your organization can take to promote mental health in the workplace.

Break the Silence

Experts say that simply talking about mental illness can help normalize it, and helps create an environment where others feel safe to discuss the mental health issues affecting their lives.

“If people can come to work and have casual conversations about cardiac problems or diabetes, we should also be able to come to work and talk about a flare-up of our depression or anxiety and not feel like we’re going to be stigmatized for that,” says Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio, a family therapist, keynote speaker, and president of GreenGate Leadership.

Town hall gatherings, team meetings, or company newsletters can all be opportune times to discuss mental health. This could mean sharing statistics around mental health and reminding employees of the importance of seeking care, or sharing your own experience with mental illness or that of a family member, says Dolan-Del Vecchio.

An email newsletter reminding staff about mental health benefits gives people plenty of time to read and ask questions via email, rather than in a meeting surrounded by co-workers. Consider providing webinars or on-site guest speakers presenting information about common mental health issues. Dates such as Mental Health Month in May or National Substance Abuse Prevention Month in October are great opportunities to broach these topics with your workforce.

Respect the Work-Life Balancing Act

The importance of “work-life balance” gets plenty of lip service these days, which makes sense given that Americans are logging longer hours, and spending more time connected to work, than in years past. All those hours on the job, or being just a couple of clicks away from it at all times, can quickly add up to work-related stress. Despite the proliferation of ways to stay tethered to work, there are at least as many actions employers can take to encourage work-life balance and reduce workers’ job-related stress to better promote mental health. These include:

“What this all comes down to is treating people with care and respect and with regard for the fact that we have limits in terms of how much we can give to our work and still be well,” says Dolan Del-Vecchio.

Pay Attention to Performance Issues

Mental health struggles aren’t always readily apparent, and people tend to be uncomfortable divulging a mental health condition at work. While managers should never try to diagnose their employees, it is their job to take notice when performance issues or negative behavioral changes happen, says Dolan-DelVecchio.

“You’re a supervisor, not a therapist,” he says. “You hold them accountable for their performance.”

That means watching for the following:

When an employee starts displaying one or more of these behaviors, and especially if the behavior persists, it’s important to step in and address it, experts say. The sooner this happens, the sooner that person can get the care they need.

Ride-sharing giant Lyft collaborated with Lyra to create a guide for managers on how to identify and respond to signs of mental health issues among their staff. The guide specifies the manager’s role in establishing trust, and how to be approachable and supportive while respecting the team members’ privacy and keeping conversations professional.

Introducing this type of guide can be a useful tool in empowering managers to better support employee mental health.

Meet with the Employee and Remind Them of Available Resources

After noticing an employee’s performance or behavior issues, it’s best to speak with them privately, approaching the conversation with a focus on work performance.

“The manager could say, ‘Hey, I see that you’re struggling in your work, here’s what I’m seeing,’ and be very specific about what kinds of performance difficulties they’re seeing”, Spangler suggests. Once the manager has verbalized the problem, he or she can remind the employee of the mental health resources available to them and discuss next steps. This could include any of the following:

As awareness of mental health issues grows and the cost savings of employer investment in mental health care become ever more apparent, the hope is that more employees will be able to respond “yes” when asked if their workplace promotes mental health. In an increasingly competitive job market, now is the time to ask yourself how your own employees would respond.

Mental health affects everyone across the United States, whether you’re one of the many tens of millions of people living with mental illness nationwide, or have a loved one living with mental illness.

In 2019, there is growing awareness of those who struggle with mental illness every day, often in ways that are invisible to others. More people than ever are joining the conversation about mental illness, and Millennials especially are helping to break down lingering taboos by opening up about their mental health struggles.

Yet, major obstacles remain: stigma still clouds public discussion of mental health issues, and far too many people struggling with mental illness don’t receive treatment. May is Mental Health Month, and we’re seizing the opportunity to break down some key statistics you should know. While spreading awareness in itself won’t solve the nation’s complex mental health care problems, we also know it’s an important step in ensuring that more Americans living with mental illness have the support they need to thrive.

For more statistics about mental health in the U.S. today, download the full infographic below.

Mental health in the U.S. poster.