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Healthy relationships are essential to happiness and fulfillment. We’re naturally drawn to others because relationships are important to our survival and bring joy and support into our lives. When our relationships face challenges, couples therapy can help you and your partner navigate difficulties to become stronger and more committed.

What is couples therapy?

Ever felt like you and your partner are speaking different languages or constantly hitting roadblocks in your relationship? Couples therapy helps people in relationships navigate conflict in a judgment-free zone where you can feel safe addressing difficult topics. During couples counseling, a specially trained relationship counselor teaches you better ways to communicate and support each other.  Couples counseling can be useful for big relationship hurdles or everyday challenges and at any stage in a relationship.

Signs it may be time to consider couples therapy

While some couples who are doing pretty well in their relationship decide to give relationship counseling a try to get ahead of major issues, couples therapy should be considered if you’re having difficulty:

Agreeing on important parenting decisions

FAQs about couples therapy

#1 What’s the difference between couples therapy and individual therapy?

In therapy for couples, you work on relationship-focused goals with your partner. Individual therapy is one-on-one with a counselor whereas individual therapy and couples therapy can work hand in hand. In individual therapy, you can talk about topics you may not feel comfortable discussing in couples sessions, while also tackling issues that emerge during couples counseling.

#2 What happens during your first couples therapy session?

The first couples therapy session typically begins with an assessment where you and your partner set goals, talk about what you want to work on, and chat about what you can expect in future sessions. The assessment lays the groundwork for therapy—it helps your relationship counselor develop a plan that’s tailored to your needs. The relationship counselor may ask you about your history together, how you communicate, and what works in your relationship.

#3 Is couples therapy the same as marriage counseling?

Some people think couples therapy is the same thing as marriage counseling, but it’s not just for married people or traditional  relationships. Relationship counseling is for all kinds of partners, whether you’re unmarried, LGBTQIA+, nonmonogamous, or polyamorous. As long as everyone is on the same page about relationship expectations, couples counseling can help you and your partner communicate and support each other better.

#4 Is online couples therapy effective?

Yes, therapy for couples via telehealth is just as effective as in-person relationship counseling. It can also be more convenient and give you access to therapists that don’t live locally. Online couples therapy may also feel more emotionally or physically safe for couples who are estranged or uncomfortable seeing each other in person.

#5 What’s the goal of couples therapy?

Each couple has their own unique goals in couples therapy, but many want to work on improving how they communicate.  It’s common for one or both partners to feel like they’re not being listened to or understood. In therapy for couples, you’ll learn to spot unhelpful behaviors and patterns and figure out healthier ways to talk about difficult topics to feel closer to each other.

#6 Does couples therapy work?

Some couples improve by 70% after relationship counseling. And numerous research-based treatments have shown to bring lasting change to relationships.

Therapy for couples tends to work best when both of you are committed to the process and willing to work on your relationship. You don’t need to know if you’re going to be with this person forever, but you should at least be committed to the relationship for the foreseeable future.

Relationship counseling also tends to be more effective when the relationship has a baseline level of steadiness. That way there’s a strong foundation if intense emotions arise. It’s tough to make progress in couples counseling when there’s an unresolved affair, threats of infidelity, recent substance use, or physical abuse. Those issues should be addressed first so the root causes of relationship issues aren’t drowned out by the external signs of the problem. In these situations, couples may benefit from  individual work in one-on-one counseling first to be able to show up in couples counseling in a way that’s healthy and productive.

#7 What if your partner doesn’t want couples therapy?

It’s not uncommon to feel hesitant about therapy. Some people think going to therapy means you’ve messed up in some way or  you’ll be forced to talk about uncomfortable topics. Sharing research with your partner on relationship counseling outcomes or what to expect may help them get past these barriers. 

Often the conversation about couples counseling goes something like, “We need therapy because of you.” But finger-pointing doesn’t really help. Instead, bring yourself into the conversation and take some ownership. For example, “I have things that I know I need to work on in our relationship, and I don’t feel like I can do that on my own.” You can explain that you’re not feeling effective at communicating your needs and would like another perspective. “I’d like someone else to look at what’s happening between us so I can know what to do differently.” 

If your partner is still unwilling to participate in  couples counseling, consider starting therapy on your own. Individual therapy can give you valuable insights and coping strategies for relationship issues, and it may even help your partner become more open to the idea of couples therapy.

Signs it may be time to consider couples therapy

Couples counseling can be helpful at any stage of a relationship. It’s best to get professional support as early as possible rather than waiting for a crisis.

With that being said, it may be time to consider couples therapy if you’re having difficulty:

Some couples who are already doing pretty well in their relationship decide to give  relationship counseling a try as a way to communicate even better and tackle  minor issues before they snowball.

Take steps to improve your relationship

Couples therapy can be a ray of hope for anyone going through tough times in a relationship. It’s a sign that you’re  both committed to working things out and making your partnership stronger.

Raising children is a journey filled with love, joy, and, yes, worry. We naturally want the best for our kids, and in today’s world, good mental health practices are more important than ever. While you can’t solve all your child’s problems, you can make sure they have coping skills and resilience to navigate tough times. Lyra Health is here for you with providers and services for kids and teens as well as adults.

#1 Have regular check-ins

Create a routine of checking in with your children regularly even when everything seems OK. Don’t just talk about their day, ask about how they’re feeling. For example, “How are you feeling today? Anything on your mind that you want to talk about?” This goes further than just asking how their day was. Really listen instead of thinking of what you’re going to say next. Validate their experience without trying to downplay or fix it.

Even if your child resists or struggles to articulate their feelings at first, routinely checking in can build a foundation of trust and openness. It’s OK to start small and work up to more in-depth discussions. For example, if your teen seems closed off, you could ask about their favorite TV show or a recent school event before transitioning into more sensitive topics.

#2 Guide them through challenges

Growing up is full of transitions and challenges – like starting a new school, dealing with peer pressure, or coping with family changes, your support can make a difference. Reassure and guide your kids by creating a home environment where mistakes are seen as opportunities for growth rather than reasons for shame.

#3 Teach key skills

Empowering your child to champion their mental health is a skill that will serve them throughout their lives. Teach them about the importance of self-care practices such as mindfulness, exercise, and healthy coping skills. Encourage them to set boundaries and prioritize their well-being, even in the face of peer pressure or expectations. You can model this. For example, pointing out that you turned down an extra work project or a party invitation because you were feeling stretched and irritable without time to relax and recharge the way you know you need to.

#4 Model positive mental health

Show your child how to prioritize mental well-being by openly sharing your feelings and modeling healthy ways to handle stress, like taking breaks, leaning on family and friends for support, or seeing a mental health professional. By setting an example of self-care and seeking support, you’re teaching them that it’s normal to ask for help and take care of themselves, which can help them with life’s ups and downs.

#5 Get professional support

Parents aren’t expected to have all the answers and sometimes kids are more willing to open up to someone else. Therapy offers a safe space where your child can explore their feelings, learn coping skills, and build resilience. To support your child’s mental health, Lyra provides teen counseling and parent coaching, helping you become an even stronger ally in their journey.

Signs of mental health issues in kids

While every child is unique, there are common signs that may indicate they’re struggling with their mental health. Some children may show noticeable symptoms, while others may struggle silently. Trust your instincts; if something feels off, it’s worth exploring.

Signs of mental distress in young children can look like:

Signs of mental distress in older children:

Empower good mental health in your child

Just as a medical professional cares for your child’s physical health, a mental health professional nurtures their emotional well-being, teaching them tools to thrive and enjoy life.

The only way to deliver real, sustained value in health care is to deliver on high-quality outcomes cost-effectively.

From day one, Lyra set out to create and deliver the best mental health care possible. We have been setting new standards in clinical outcomes for years, and we can now prove that this translates directly into exceptional cost-effectiveness for Lyra’s customers and patients. Better outcomes are more cost-effective.

We are proud to share that Lyra delivers the highest ROI in mental health care —a stunning 3:1 ROI—because we deliver the best outcomes of any mental health service provider. 

With 9 in 10 Lyra members experiencing lasting improvement in their mental health, the overall health care costs for our customers go down. There is a lot of noise about ROI, but with Lyra, the logic is simple: What’s best for your people is also best for your bottom line.

Our latest ROI study, conducted with a Fortune 500 company, showed that they saved $3.04 for every $1 of their investment, inclusive of all costs for sessions and support services fees. These results were independently validated by Aon, a global consulting leader known for its rigorous standards. Lyra’s ROI is 50% higher than the next-highest reported ROI in our field; even with Lyra holding itself to a more rigorous methodology and an independent third-party vetting.

Lower-quality care may appear good enough at first, with lower advertised per-visit fees. However, when the treatments do not work reliably, the visits are a waste of money and you end up paying more in the end. Higher relapse rates, cases becoming more severe and needing more expensive interventions later and, often, costly exacerbations of other medical conditions that could have been prevented are the consequences of lower-quality mental health care. Again, better outcomes are most cost-effective.

This new ROI study from Aon follows our recent Longitudinal Cost Efficiency Measurement, which showed 26% average annual savings for multiple customers over four years. We can now show that Lyra is the only mental health solution that delivers sustained savings over time and the highest ROI.

These results didn’t happen overnight. In order to deliver the highest quality and best value in mental health care, we invested in:

Investing in the best providers

We handbuilt our provider network to ensure members only receive evidence-based, culturally responsive treatment. With a 13% acceptance rate, our members know they will only be seen by someone with top credentials, expertise, and performance outcomes. In short, we only credential providers that we would choose for a loved one.

And the work doesn’t stop there. Our team of clinical managers offers daily support, ongoing development, and proactive quality oversight. The collaboration with managers and each other via communities and cohorts ensures our members can benefit from the collective expertise of our entire network.

Lyra is home to the world’s largest network of evidence-based providers, where exceptional care and extraordinary results are the norm.

Outcomes data tracking drives quality

In any area of physical health care, it is crucial to monitor if a treatment is working. For some conditions, we follow blood tests, track vital signs, and do follow-up scans. Mental health care shouldn’t be any different. A doctor would not prescribe a statin and not follow cholesterol levels. Similarly, a psychologist should not treat depression and not follow the PHQ9.

Lyra has always tracked outcomes from our members in care to make sure they are responding to treatment. This is how we know that the diagnosis is correct, the treatment is working, and the clinician is effective. It also enables clinicians to better tailor treatment to the specific needs of each person. Additionally, we leverage a decade’s worth of clinical outcomes to evaluate our results and continually enhance our care delivery. We’ve published our findings in 16 published, peer-reviewed papers, underscoring our commitment to transparency, excellence, and improvement.

When our clients get better, they experience improved well-being and productivity, leading to significant savings for both the individual and the employer.

Accelerating clinical outcomes, getting people better faster

We have also revolutionized the care itself to enhance value with our Lyra Care model, which keeps clients engaged between sessions to speed recovery and engrain new skills. It makes no sense that clients should be limited to only a weekly care session.

Lyra’s providers assign guided practice sessions including video lessons and exercises to help our clients make lasting changes in their thought patterns and behaviors. On average, members and providers spend an additional 50 minutes interacting between sessions, with measurable clinical benefit at 60% of the cost of a live session. This helps clients get better faster.

As a result, the total treatment time is less than traditional therapy, which prevents unnecessary suffering for the individual and unnecessary spending for the employer. It also means that it takes fewer clinical sessions to get better, which is more cost-effective.

Investment in clinical quality delivers unparalleled returns

We built Lyra to deliver the world’s best mental health care. The best care gets clients better faster, keeps them healthier longer, and is more cost-effective. Our proven 3:1 ROI means that in a world of shrinking budgets, greater stress, and an unacceptable status quo for behavioral health, investing in offering Lyra is both the best for your people and best for your company’s bottom line.

High-functioning depression, though not an official diagnosis, is a real and ever-present challenge for many. People with functioning depression may manage to keep up with daily responsibilities and put on a brave face, but inside feel overwhelmed and exhausted. The good news? Help is available. With the right support, you can find relief and rediscover joy. 

What is high-functioning depression?

The term “high-functioning depression” can be misleading because it suggests that people who seem to have it all together don’t need help. In reality, they may be struggling mightily. High-functioning depression symptoms can be similar to clinical depression symptoms, and just as challenging, even if they outwardly appear less intense. 

You may experience some or many of these depression symptoms: 

One of the main signs of high-functioning depression is the ability to mask these hardships and keep functioning, but this doesn’t diminish the profound impact it has on your well-being. 

Causes of high-functioning depression symptoms

Mental health disorders aren’t caused by one factor. Often, it’s a combination of several challenges such as: 

Why do I need help if I’m “high-functioning?”

Even if you feel you have a handle on functional depression, treatment is crucial for maintaining a good quality of life and preventing symptoms from worsening. Living in a constant state of managing just enough to get by can keep you from doing your best or finding joy, which isn’t sustainable long term.

Untreated high-functioning depression can lead to:

Operating under these constraints can hold you back from true fulfillment or happiness. However, high-functioning depression treatment can give you coping strategies, support, and tools to manage your symptoms effectively and embrace a more fulfilling life.

Helping a loved one with high-functioning depression

If you notice signs of high-functioning depression in a loved one, approach them with empathy and support. Normalize the conversation by acknowledging the tough times everyone faces and expressing concern for their well-being. You might say something like, “It seems like you’re having a hard time right now. I read about how common depression is these days and wonder if you might consider getting it checked out.” 

Discussing quality of life can also be a practical way to start a dialogue. Asking questions like, “Are you enjoying life? Is there any joy in it? If not, what can we do about that?” Supporting them in finding moments of comfort can help people cope with depressive symptoms.

High-functioning depression treatment

If you need support, you aren’t alone. High-functioning depression treatment can improve your quality of life and alleviate symptoms. Here are a few approaches that can help.

Assessment

Treatment often starts with an assessment to determine the best approaches for your specific needs. This assessment can include psychological evaluations, interviews, and questionnaires to understand your mental health status. It helps determine whether therapy, medication, or a combination of both may be most effective. 

Therapy

Mental health coaching or therapy helps you develop strategies to manage functional depression symptoms and boost your energy levels and focus. High-functioning depression treatment also involves setting realistic goals and understanding that it’s OK to not always be at your best. Taking a step back and not pushing yourself to the limit is crucial for long-term well-being. By giving yourself this space, you allow your brain and body to recover, helping you function better in the long run.

Self-care

People with functioning depression often push themselves to maintain high standards in all areas of life, which can worsen their depressive symptoms over time. High-functioning depression treatment encourages you to allow yourself to take breaks and not overextend. This involves self-care activities that bring comfort and joy, like connecting with friends, being in nature, or making time for hobbies. These activities won’t solve all of your problems, but they can provide some relief and make it easier to handle daily tasks.

Depression is treatable

If you’re dealing with high-functioning depression, it’s crucial to know that you don’t have to keep pushing yourself to the brink just to get through each day. With the right help, life can be easier, and you can find more balance and joy in your everyday activities. Reach out, take that first step, and know that better days are possible.

Employee feedback can be tougher to give than receive. Research shows that people often avoid giving feedback even if the stakes are low, like telling someone they have a smudge on their face. Yet, employees crave feedback—57% of workers prefer corrective feedback over praise, and 72% believe their performance would improve with constructive feedback. Employee feedback is essential, and while it can be challenging to deliver or ask for, it’s a skill that can be learned.

What is employee feedback?

Employee feedback is insight into how someone performs at work—both strengths and areas for improvement. It’s meant to encourage growth and help people get better at their jobs. Employee feedback is ideally a two-way street where workers also have a voice through regular supervisor check-ins, employee satisfaction surveys, or employee feedback surveys, and town halls.

Why is employee feedback important?

Research shows employee feedback is integral to an engaged, motivated, growth-focused work culture. Employee feedback: 

Keeps employees engaged and motivated

Employee feedback boosts engagement by making employees feel heard and valued. It can also create a sense of challenge, motivating employees to keep improving their skills and performance.

Identifies strengths and opportunities

Employee feedback is a critical tool for learning and development so workers can grow and adapt.

Contributes to a positive organizational culture

Regular feedback fosters a supportive and open environment, contributing to a healthy work culture where employees feel appreciated and motivated.

Reduces manager burnout

Employee feedback lightens the load for managers by enhancing performance, allowing them to focus on strategic priorities rather than managing gaps.

Types of employee feedback

Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone, authors and developers of negotiation theory at Harvard University who have spent 20 years working with managers on difficult conversations, identify three types of employee feedback: 

#1 Appreciation (positive feedback or praise)

A positive feedback example is recognizing an employee’s contributions to a project’s success. This type of employee feedback reinforces desired behaviors and boosts employee morale. 

#2 How to (guidance on how to adapt, build, learn, and grow)

An example of “how to” employee feedback is teaching time management skills to increase employee productivity. “How to” feedback provides clear, actionable steps for growth and corrective feedback for behaviors interfering with effective performance or skills that will be repeatedly used. 

#3 Evaluation (where an employee stands relative to where you need them to be)

Evaluation feedback could be assessing an employee’s current performance and identifying gaps. This type of employee feedback helps workers understand where they stand and opportunities for improvement. 

8 ways to give effective employee feedback

Giving employee feedback is a skill you can develop over time. These nine suggestions can expand your employee feedback skills and set you and your employees up for success:

#1 Give more positive than corrective feedback

While it can be easy to focus on what’s not working, if employees only hear about what’s going wrong, they can lose motivation and confidence. Your corrective feedback is more likely to land if you’re providing three to four positive feedback examples for every piece of corrective feedback. However, be sure and keep your positive and corrective feedback separate (also see #7) for your delivery to have maximum impact!

#2 Give employees a heads up

You want feedback to feel like a safe activity, so don’t catch employees off-guard. Schedule employee feedback discussions in advance and provide an agenda to help employees prepare. How much advance notice depends on the kind of feedback you’re giving. For example, positive or minor corrective feedback can be given on relatively short notice (as quickly as the same day, but not longer than a week). If you have more substantive corrective feedback for the employee, a best practice is to wait at least 24-hours before setting up time to give the feedback. Waiting a day gives you a chance to reflect on what happened, better understand the situation, and manage any emotions, which can lead to a more productive conversation. You may also find after 24 hours that the feedback no longer feels necessary to give. 

#3 Strive for a collaborative mindset

Traditionally, feedback has been viewed as a one-way street where the manager is considered the expert with answers for the employee to receive and act upon. Modern management thinking views employee feedback often as a conversation where the manager highlights areas for improvement and collaborates with the employee to find solutions. Try to approach employee feedback as a collaborative conversation. If that feels hard, try picturing yourself on the same team facing the problem together. Ask yourself, how can I stay open to their perspective and focus on helping them learn and grow?

#4 Check in with your motivations

Reflect on your intentions before giving feedback. For example, is it a desire to assert authority, rather than genuinely aiming to help the other person improve? Ask yourself, “Would I be willing to re-examine my views based on what I learn from the other person?” and, “Is my intention truly serving this person’s development and growth?” If the answer to either is no, wait to give feedback, explore why you answered the way you did, and re-focus on the goal.

#5 Use “I” statements

It can be difficult for employees to receive your feedback if it sounds like they’re being blamed. Using “I” statements avoids finger-pointing, demonstrates self-awareness, and encourages the employee to listen to what you have to say. The next time you have corrective feedback for an employee try using “I” statements to explain where you’re coming from (e.g., “I’m feeling confused about the shift in timeline, and I imagine others may be as well. Can you elaborate on the reasons for that?” “or, “I noticed I was distracted in today’s meeting when you were talking to your coworker during the presentation. What was going on for you?”). 

#6 Be straightforward and clear 

Employees need feedback to understand how to improve. Making sure they have the information to succeed shows that you care about their success and helps build a stronger relationship. Clear employee feedback: “Your reports have had several errors recently; double-checking your data will help us stay accurate.” Sugar-coated employee feedback: “Your reports are generally good, but it might be a good idea to review them a bit more closely sometimes.”

#7 Deliver praise and criticism separately

Avoid mixing praise and corrective feedback together in a “compliment sandwich.” This can dilute the message and reduce its impact. Clearly separate praise and areas for improvement: discuss what’s working well first, then switch gears to what needs improvement. “We just spoke about what’s working well, now I want to switch gears and talk about what’s not working as well.”

#8 Consider this time-tested approach

We’re not as transparent as we think. You see your intentions, but others only see your behaviors. We can’t control how another person reacts to feedback, but we can control how we communicate it. Try using a framework like the S-B-I model for providing clear and objective employee feedback by describing the specific situation, the observed behavior, and the impact of that behavior.

Step 1: Situation

Begin by outlining the context where the behavior took place. This makes the feedback specific and easier for the other person to understand.

Step 2: Behavior

Detail the exact behavior you’re addressing. Describe what the person did or what you observed, without adding your interpretation. This makes employee feedback more objective and free of personal judgment.

Step 3: Impact

Discuss the impact of their behavior. This can include how it made you feel, as well as the broader effects on others or the entire team or organization.

These steps can be used for both positive and negative feedback. Here are a few examples:

Positive feedback examples 

Positive feedback is recognition for achievements and positive behaviors. Positive feedback examples include:

Constructive feedback examples 

Constructive or corrective feedback is guidance to improve performance and behavior.  Constructive feedback examples include: 

How to ask for feedback

Imagine someone approaches you and says, “Can I give you some feedback?” Your first reaction might be to feel tense, defensive, or anxious about what they’re going to say.

Now, imagine the same person approaches you and asks, “Can you give me some feedback?” This might make you feel calm, understanding, or even proud to be asked.

Asking for feedback can build confidence and create a trusting atmosphere where feedback is exchanged more freely and drives positive performance. Start by asking for constructive feedback. If you’re only hearing the positives, you’re likely not hearing the full story. Try something like, “What’s one way I can better support you?” Narrowing it down to one thing makes it more likely you’ll hear something actionable. If you’re a manager you might ask, “Which team processes would you like to see improved?” or, “How can I support your growth?”

Remember to avoid asking questions that can be answered with a yes or no, as this shuts down communication. For example, avoid asking, “Do you have any feedback for me?” It’s helpful to ask for specific examples to make sure you understand the employee feedback.

It’s always better to ask for feedback than to assume that people are getting what they need from you. This also models continuous learning and development for everyone involved.

Tips for receiving employee feedback 

Remember, when people give you employee feedback, they’re sharing their experience of working with you. It’s not an attack on you as a person. It’s normal and expected that there are areas where each of us can improve to make the work as good as it can be.

How frequently should you give or receive feedback?

Frequent employee feedback fuels growth and motivation. 

Give the gift of feedback

Employee feedback is essential for growth and improvement. Whether it’s positive or constructive, the goal is to foster changes that benefit both the employee and the company. Perfection isn’t required or expected—what’s important is to start somewhere and keep learning. Your team members and your organization will be better for it.

“Will I be able to feed my family this week?”

“How am I going to get to work without reliable transportation?”

“Where will I sleep tonight? Can my boss tell that I slept in my car?”

“I feel so lonely and disconnected from my community.”

Sixty-five percent of full-time employees at large U.S. employers have experienced at least one unmet social need. When an employee doesn’t have access to social needs like food, housing, and care for dependents, it has a direct impact on their health, including mental health.

As an HR and benefits leader, we know you’re concerned about employees who are struggling to meet their basic needs. Employment can support health, but unmet social needs don’t disappear—they follow employees to work, creating an invisible, overwhelming burden. This can result in missed work, lagging productivity, and poor performance.

Traditional methods of addressing these unmet social needs often require vulnerable individuals to seek out resources on their own. At Lyra, we believe in shifting to a proactive, human-centric model backed by insights.

That’s why today, we are proud to launch a new standard in equitable mental health care with Lyra Social Care.

We’ve pioneered a new, equitable approach to supporting employees’ unmet social needs and improving their social determinants of health (SDOH). Through proactive outreach, our Social Care offering directly connects members with personalized resources to help them thrive at home and at work.

A new approach to addressing unmet needs that impact mental well-being

Supporting whole-person health is crucial, as employees can face challenges meeting their social needs. Businesses are well-suited to provide proactive support, benefiting both employees and the organization’s bottom line.

Our new Social Care offering is driven by specially trained Resource Coordinators who proactively connect members with the social support they need to thrive—whether it’s through Lyra, another employer-sponsored benefit, or available community resources.

Here’s how Lyra Social Care works:

  1. Members are screened through a mental health assessment for SDOH-related needs like social connection, physical health and activity, finances and work, and their environment.
  2. Based on the results, Resource Coordinators reach out to vulnerable members and offer them a link to schedule a personalized call.
  3. Members speak to our compassionate and trained Resource Coordinators to identify needs.
  4. Members receive a personalized care plan, including referrals and resources to help them on their well-being journey.
  5. The Resource Coordinator is available for any follow-up questions or discussions.

Lyra Social Care is powered by proactive, compassionate, and insight-driven outreach to help people like:

Construction worker

Jane, a single mom who doesn’t have enough money for food. Unable to feed her family, she’s struggling with anxiety and depression. Her Resource Coordinator identifies local food banks and links to eligible government assistance programs (SNAP, WIC, TANF), and creates a personalized care plan that includes a call with a Lyra therapist.

Retail worker

Tony, a retail worker who was hospitalized due to chronic diabetes and feels helpless as he navigates his illness alone. Tony’s Resource Coordinator arranges a local diabetes-friendly food service, identifies a chronic illness support group, and schedules a session with a therapist who specializes in chronic illness.

Compassionate, human-centric care

Our Resource Coordinators stay in touch with the member from start to finish, including assistance with completing applications or connecting to local resources. They also offer members compassionate support on topics including financial worries, food or housing insecurity, caregiving needs, and social inclusion. And, if resource needs arise while a member is working with a mental health provider, Lyra providers can directly communicate with the Resource Coordinator to ensure those needs are addressed.

Proactive, insight-driven care

Our commitment to insight-driven care extends to Social Care reporting. Employers receive data on member utilization to support workplace well-being and inform employee programs. Businesses can access a range of anonymized data, from the unique number of cases and type of support requests to the employee’s engagement with community-based resources.

Lyra members thrive with dedicated resource support

With our focus on whole-person care, we ensure that members receive the services and support they need. This approach enables us to more effectively address people’s diverse needs, leading to improved care outcomes and reduced mental health inequities.

Our commitment to a human-centric approach is fundamental to our mission of advancing health equity and delivering high-quality care. We’re proud to pioneer this new standard in equitable mental health care and help our members thrive.

When someone you care about is struggling with anxiety, it can be tough to know how to support them or where to begin. Whether it’s a friend, spouse, child, or other family member, understanding their experience and determining how to help someone with anxiety is essential. As a therapist with years of experience treating clients with anxiety, I’ll walk you through a step-by-step approach to providing the compassionate support they need.

What is anxiety?

First, let’s go over what anxiety is and how it manifests in the body, so you can understand how to help someone with anxiety. Anxiety is how we respond to dangerous situations. It triggers a “fight or flight” response and releases a flood of chemicals and hormones into the body. In turn, this sets off physiological changes such as a rising pulse and breathing rate to prepare the body to respond to this dangerous situation (for example, run fast or fight). 

Imagine how you’d feel if a grizzly bear started running toward you. In this instance, your feelings of anxiety and your body’s fight-flight-freeze response are appropriate for the danger. Anxiety becomes a mental health condition when someone experiences this kind of intense reaction over longer periods of time about situations that aren’t especially dangerous. For example, someone may feel anxiety around flying, social situations, or school, but the body responds the same way and kicks into fight-flight-freeze mode.

Common anxiety symptoms

Before you can learn how to help someone with anxiety, you’ll need to be able to spot common symptoms. 

Physical 

Behavioral

Cognitive

A step-by-step approach for how to help someone with anxiety 

If you notice concerning signs in someone you care about, consider these tips for how to help someone with anxiety. These steps include coping strategies that have helped my clients manage their anxiety. 

Step 1: Remain calm

To help someone with an anxiety attack or other signs of anxiety, the most important thing you can do is stay calm yourself. As we interact with others, we take positive cues from one another on how to regulate our emotions. This is called co-regulation and it’s effective in helping someone with anxiety. 

So pause, take a few deep breaths, and regulate your emotions. If you can’t stay calm, take a short break and come back to help your loved one when you’re more relaxed.

Step 2: Help them identify the emotion

The next step in how to help someone with anxiety is to identify the emotion they’re feeling. In therapy we say, “name it to tame it.” Sometimes just by naming the emotion, we give the brain some resolution.

Every emotion wants to be acknowledged, relay a message, and motivate us for action. Anxiety alerts us to risks, whether real or imagined. So it’s important to acknowledge the emotion, listen to its message, and decide if we need to take action. In a truly dangerous situation, we will need to act. We don’t have to try to “fix” anxiety, but rather learn to sit in it.

Step 3: Ask them to rate their anxiety on a scale of 1-10

Once you’ve acknowledged the emotion, ask your loved one: What are you feeling and how intense is it on a scale of 1-10? If they rate their anxiety intensity anywhere from 7-10, it’s likely their body is in fight-or-flight mode and their lizard brain is in high gear. 

Step 4: Investigate the risk 

Next, check the facts. Is there any real and probable danger? For example, for someone with a fear of flying, our investigation may reveal the following facts. All forms of travel come with some level of risk. Air travel is safer than driving to the airport, and a disaster (while possible) is not probable. We want to be aware of risk, so we can take reasonable precautions like wearing a seatbelt and safely stowing our belongings. However, intense fear while flying doesn’t keep us safe and could actually make us forget emergency procedures.

If your loved one’s fear is disproportionate and unhelpful, you can help them engage in a few coping exercises to lower the intensity and ease their body out of fight-flight-freeze.

Step 5: Implement coping strategies 

There are several coping strategies that can help someone with anxiety slow down the fight-flight-freeze response and awaken the higher-level thinking part of the brain.

Step 6: Process the situation

Once you help someone with anxiety bring their body out of its fight-flight-freeze response and awaken their thinking brain, they’ll be able to engage in more logical thinking. Then you can try and challenge their thoughts and talk through the situation with them. 

It can take time to learn how to manage anxiety. If these steps don’t help, don’t despair—they’re often most effective when done with a trained mental health coach or therapist. Sometimes the most caring thing you can do to help someone with anxiety is encourage them to talk with a mental health provider or help connect them to professional support. 

What NOT to do when someone has anxiety

Here are two important things to avoid when learning how to comfort someone with anxiety:

When to see a therapist

I’ve shared a few tips for how to help someone with anxiety, but I want to emphasize that it’s not your job to treat someone’s mental health condition. If your loved one’s anxiety significantly affects their life—for example, their worries lead to canceling plans,  disengaging from school or work, or avoiding leaving the house—encourage them to seek professional support. Often, people helping a loved one with anxiety may also need professional support to ensure they’re setting boundaries and practicing self-care to safeguard their own mental health.

You’re not alone.

Supporting a loved one with anxiety can be challenging, but your care and compassion can make a real difference. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey—professional help is available for both you and your loved one. By following these steps, you can provide the invaluable support they need to manage their anxiety.

Anxiety can leave anyone feeling overwhelmed and out of control. In these moments, grounding techniques for anxiety help you regain your sense of calm and navigate distress by bringing you back to the present moment and providing a sense of stability.

What are grounding techniques?

Grounding techniques for anxiety help you stay in the present moment during intense emotions. Exercises like deep breathing, focusing on your senses, or naming your emotions shift attention away from distressing thoughts and feelings and anchor you in the here and now. Over time, grounding techniques can help you respond more thoughtfully and calmly instead of reacting out of habit. 

“These practices are especially helpful for anxiety because they address the body’s fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response,” said Jamie Hanley, MS, LPC, an expert in holistic treatment approaches and a therapist with Lyra Health. These are automatic reactions to perceived threats. “Fight” confronts the threat aggressively, “flight” escapes from it, “freeze” is a temporary paralysis or inability to act, and “fawn” appeases the threat to avoid conflict. “Recognizing the sensations of anxiety allows you to pause, get grounded, and respond in a more composed and less reactive way,” said Hanley.

8 grounding techniques for anxiety

So, how can you calm your nervous system and regain control? Here are some simple but effective physical and mental grounding exercises for anxiety:

#1 Connect to the ground

Bring awareness to where your body physically connects to the ground. If you’re standing, bring attention to the soles of your feet. If you’re lying down, notice where your back connects to the ground, or your seat in a chair. “This simple focus helps you feel more stable and present. Physical awareness within the body can help regulate your nervous system,” said Hanley.

#2 Breathe from your diaphragm

Breathing from your diaphragm also helps regulate the nervous system. “The vagus nerve is the switch for our parasympathetic nervous system and runs through the diaphragm — so diaphragmatic breathing facilitates the relaxation response,” said Hanley. “Place one or both hands on your abdomen and take deep breaths, feeling your belly rise and fall. This reduces shallow breathing associated with anxiety and provides a sense of calm.”

#3 Use 4-7-8 breathing

Controlled breathing or counting breaths helps reduce anxiety by engaging the parasympathetic nervous system, which lowers heart rate and promotes a state of calm. Box breathing and  4-7-8 breathing are two of these techniques. Box breathing involves inhaling for four seconds, holding the breath for four seconds, exhaling for four seconds, and then pausing for four seconds before repeating the cycle. To use 4-7-8 breathing, inhale to the count of four, hold for seven, and exhale for eight. Counting, breathing, pausing, holding, and that long exhale can calm you. If holding your breath is uncomfortable, simply inhale for four counts and exhale for eight.

#4 Pay attention to your senses

The five senses grounding technique involves focusing on the present moment by identifying five things you see, four things you touch, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste. This could be as simple as applying your favorite lotion or smelling an essential oil. “Olfactory senses are very powerful when communicating with the nervous system,” said Hanley. “Other sensory techniques include listening to the sounds of nature, cold showers, weighted blankets, or big hugs. Experiment with different sensory inputs to see what works best for you.”

#5 Sigh mindfully

Have you ever noticed when a heavy sigh seems to come out of nowhere? Sometimes, a sigh is the body’s way of resetting itself. “The sigh is a natural way for our nervous system to reset,”  Hanley noted. “Try incorporating long, audible sighs into your breathing practice to help release tension and calm your mind.”

#6 Check the facts

To mentally ground yourself and correct distorted thinking, get clear on what’s really happening rather than how you’re interpreting it. Paying attention to just “the facts” helps you see things more objectively and reduces the tendency to catastrophize, which increases anxiety.

#7 Name and validate emotions

Identifying and naming your emotions is a powerful grounding exercise for anxiety. By acknowledging what you’re feeling, you validate your experience, which can help reduce the intensity of your emotions. “Simply being mindful of and noticing the emotion can be a game-changer when you’re physically and mentally escalated,” advised Hanley.

#8 Recognize thinking traps

Thinking traps like all-or-nothing thinking (“I must be perfect in everything”) or overgeneralizing after one setback (“I’ll never succeed at anything”) only amplify anxiety. Recognizing and challenging these traps can help you break free from negative thought patterns. “Being aware of thinking traps helps you recognize how you may be making things harder on yourself, and that there are alternative perspectives,” said Hanley.

When to use grounding techniques for anxiety

Grounding techniques for anxiety can help with minor, everyday stressors like work deadlines or traffic jams, as well as significant distress like panic attacks, obsessive thinking, or dissociation. When you notice your body reacting—like experiencing shortness of breath or spiraling thoughts—it’s a signal to use grounding exercises for anxiety. “You’re in the ‘red zone,’ where the rational part of your brain shuts off and your responses become primal,” said Hanley. “If you recognize these warning signs, you can use anxiety grounding techniques to bring yourself back to the present moment.”

Grounding techniques for anxiety can also be preventive. Regular practice helps your body become familiar with the process so you can use your skills when you need them. “Finding the right techniques and practicing them regularly will increase your resilience,” said Hanley. “Using these practices in your daily routines prepares you to manage anxiety whenever it arises.”

One of the biggest misconceptions is believing that grounding techniques should work immediately without practice. “The number-one mistake people make is that they only try something once, or they only try one thing,” said Hanley. “It’s essential to explore and practice various grounding exercises regularly, not just when you’re in distress. Just because one thing doesn’t work doesn’t mean nothing will work.”

How to use anxiety grounding techniques daily 

You don’t need to carve out extra time in your day to practice this; instead, you can weave grounding techniques for anxiety into activities you already do. “In the shower, feel your feet on the ground, the warmth of the water, and the smell of the soap. Take a few deep breaths.” By pairing grounding techniques for anxiety with daily routines, you create moments to reconnect with the present and your body without adding extra tasks.

It’s important to have a variety of tools—you might need to use more grounding techniques the bigger the situation. For everyday annoyances, simple practices like mindful breathing or feeling your connection to the earth might suffice. “For bigger challenges, layering multiple grounding techniques can be more effective,” said Hanley. “The more you layer and practice these skills—a walk in nature with some deep breathing and listening to your favorite music—the more quickly you self-regulate.”

Grounding techniques as part of overall treatment

Because they provide immediate relief and boost long-term resilience, grounding techniques are a crucial part of comprehensive anxiety management. “People are able to identify anxiety, but don’t necessarily know how to manage it,” said Hanley. “Grounding exercises are accessible and can be easily integrated into daily routines, offering a simple yet effective way to manage anxiety.”

Grounding techniques for anxiety complement other therapeutic approaches such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), which focus on changing negative thoughts and behaviors by offering tools to help you stay present and calm when anxiety hits hard. “Grounding techniques fall under the umbrella of mindfulness, which is integral to both CBT and DBT,” said Hanley.

Grounding techniques are also important in trauma treatment to help stay present and regulated when recalling traumatic experiences. This ensures you have practical tools at your disposal, enhancing the overall effectiveness of therapy. “If you don’t learn some of these grounding exercises to help regulate when healing trauma, you may not see the changes in response that you’re hoping for,” said Hanley.

You can loosen anxiety’s grip

During times of high stress, it’s important to remember that the intensity of emotions can and will change. “Emotions are temporary, and learning techniques like grounding exercises can provide life-changing support in navigating anxiety,” said Hanley. “You felt different in the past, and you will feel different again.”

If you find your anxiety is so overwhelming that it’s difficult to take care of usual daily activities, it’s time to seek help. “Experiencing a little bit of anxiety before work, then getting in the shower, grounding yourself, taking a couple of deep breaths, and moving on with your day—that’s manageable anxiety,” said Hanley. “However, if your anxiety is debilitating in that it consumes your thoughts and makes life difficult, it’s a clear sign that professional help is needed.”

Therapy isn’t just for those in crisis—it can provide you with tools to manage anxiety more effectively and enhance your overall well-being. “It’s always OK to seek help, and therapy can be transformative, whether your symptoms are debilitating or you just want to improve your coping strategies,” said Hanley.

Typically, minor discomfort from injuries or accidents goes away over time. But sometimes pain can linger for longer, no matter what you do. Chronic pain is considered physical pain that lasts for three months or more, beyond the usual recovery time.

This kind of pain in the body can be constant or come and go with “flare-ups,” which are periods when our pain is more intense than usual. 

Emotional distress can also be associated with long-term discomfort. For example, we might feel persistent stomach or chest pain during a period of prolonged stress like job interviewing, divorce, or times of uncertainty.

Discomfort caused by distress can also show up as burning, aching, stinging, throbbing, tightness, tingling, numbing, or fatigue. Emotionally, we may feel sadness, anxiety, anger, irritability, frustration, or loneliness.

If this sounds like you, you aren’t alone. More than one-quarter of Americans cope with chronic pain, but there are resources to help. 

Ways we tend to manage chronic pain

Many of us respond to pain using one of two opposite approaches: pushing through or avoiding activity. We may also alternate between these approaches.

Pushing through pain means continuing to do whatever we’re doing as if our pain isn’t there. Examples of this may include:

Pushing through chronic pain can trigger injuries that require a longer recovery period, creating a cycle that’s difficult to escape. 

The opposite approach to pushing through pain is avoiding activity. When we avoid activity, we severely limit our movement in response to pain. Examples of this may include:

Avoiding activity can seem like a way to prevent pain or conserve energy for important tasks. But over time, it can lead to muscle weakness and joint stiffness, making it harder to do the activities we used to do. It can also lead to poorer mental health outcomes, like depression.

Coping with chronic pain through pacing 

Since pushing through and avoiding activity tend to worsen pain in the long term, it’s important to find a balance between these approaches. “Pacing” is a middle ground that can help us manage chronic pain and participate in activities that matter to us.

Pacing involves breaking activities into smaller chunks so that we can participate without risking flare-ups or additional injury. When we experience fewer flare-ups, we tend to feel better, spend less time recovering, and accomplish more.

Before starting a pacing technique to deal with chronic pain, consider your schedule and how you can break up tasks over time. For example, rather than cleaning your entire home in one day, clean different rooms over the course of a week.

Try pacing by following these simple steps:

As you complete a pacing technique, consider keeping a notebook handy to track your progress or an alarm clock to help you stick to your goal active and goal rest times. Journal how you’re feeling and if any strong emotions are coming up that may lead to more physical discomfort. 

How to help a loved one managing chronic pain

Providing emotional support to a loved one who is coping with chronic pain can help them feel less alone and maintain a sense of normalcy. Here are some ways you can help:

Emotional support can help

If you’re experiencing chronic pain, a medical provider can evaluate your symptoms and suggest treatments. A mental health expert can also offer tools to support you in coping with chronic pain. That’s where Lyra comes in.

The power of the mind-body connection is undeniable, and one way it’s clear is in the link between chronic pain and depression. One in five people are affected by chronic pain and up to 85% of them experience severe depression. But there’s hope and healing in using a holistic approach that treats chronic pain and mental health together.

The link between chronic pain and depression

“As a society, pain is often viewed as a physical experience, and depression is viewed as an emotional experience,” said Lauren Cunningham, PhD, senior manager of clinical quality at Lyra Health. “But clinical studies demonstrate that chronic pain and mental health concerns are actually closely related.”

Without the right medical and mental health support, depression and chronic pain can create a cycle of physical and emotional distress. Discomfort and an inability to fully participate in activities you enjoy can understandably lead to feelings of frustration and irritability.

Similarly, depression can involve physical symptoms that contribute to chronic pain. Depression symptoms  like fatigue, reduced activity, and challenges with self-care may make your body less resilient to injury or pain. Depression can also influence brain chemicals tied to pain perception which can heighten your sensitivity to physical discomfort.

Chronic pain isn’t just linked to depression. Researchers have also found ties between PTSD and chronic pain, chronic pain and anxiety, and chronic pain and ADHD.

Chronic pain and connected mental health conditions

Some pain conditions that can intertwine with depression and other mental health conditions include:

4 treatments for depression and chronic pain

Caring for the body and mind together is key to breaking the chronic pain cycle. An integrated approach to treating chronic pain and depression provides the hope and healing so many need. Holistic treatment for depression and chronic pain may include:

#1 Behavioral therapy

Behavioral therapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) teach you to change thoughts, behaviors, and emotions associated with chronic pain and depression. For example, CBT can help you transform thoughts like these:

#2 Stress reduction and relaxation

Relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation, can help alleviate tension and reduce pain.

#3 Lifestyle changes

Self-care like eating nutritious food, getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, practicing mindfulness, and limiting substance use can improve chronic pain and mental health.

#4 Medication

Medication can help with both chronic pain and depression symptoms. To maximize effectiveness, medications for depression and chronic pain should be paired with behavioral therapy.

How chronic pain and depression impact the workplace

Chronic pain and depression can impact your personal and professional lives. If you’re living with chronic pain and depression, here are some ways you can manage your symptoms at work:

Live the life you deserve

Depression and chronic pain don’t define you. With the right treatment and support, you can live a life where comfort, joy, and fulfillment aren’t just possibilities, but are well within reach.