When we think about ways to improve work performance, it’s important to recognize the strong connection between performance and mental health. Organizations play a pivotal role in shaping this relationship through thoughtful work design and prioritizing employee well-being. Let’s explore some actionable strategies to create a workplace that boosts both mental health and productivity.

Why is work performance important?

It benefits organizations to try to improve work performance by helping employees feel energized and supported, because then they’re naturally more productive, motivated, engaged, and satisfied with their jobs. On the other hand, burnout and stress can significantly hinder performance, making everyday tasks feel like major hurdles. 

Managers play a critical role in shaping this dynamic. In fact, research shows that a manager’s influence on employee mental health can be more significant than that of a therapist or spouse. By providing a supportive environment with clear expectations and open communication, managers can help employees perform at their best. 

What affects work performance?

Interpersonal, work, and environmental factors all influence performance. Understanding these factors helps pinpoint specific ways to improve work performance:

#1 Interpersonal factors

• Communication and relationships – Poor communication, strained relationships, and lack of support between managers, coworkers, and clients.
• Social and emotional support – Insufficient social support, along with unfair or inconsistent practices.
• Decision-making and fair treatment – Imbalanced power relationships, mismatched management styles, and unfair decision-making or communication practices.
• Harassment and bullying – Harmful behaviors such as harassment, bullying, or discrimination, whether in person or online.
• Recognition and career development – Inadequate recognition, career stagnation, or lack of growth opportunities.

#2 Work factors

• Role clarity –  Ambiguous or conflicting responsibilities.
• Decision-making and control – Lack of influence over workload or schedule.
• Workload and variety – High workloads, repetitive tasks, and time pressure.
• Unpredictable schedules and job security – Inflexible schedules, long hours, and insecure employment.
• Manager support – May include lack of information and training, resources, and/or emotional support.

#3 Environmental factors

• Workplace conditions – Poor lighting, excessive noise, or lack of reliable equipment.
• Resource availability and safety – Limited access to necessary tools, unsafe conditions, or extreme temperatures.

Top ways to improve work performance

Here are some strategies to boost performance in the workplace:

#1 Improving interpersonal factors

• Communication and relationships – Use communication as a tool to strengthen relationships and foster alignment. Encourage employees to share how they’re doing through practices like team check-ins, such as Brené Brown’s “two-word check-in” or dropping an emoji in a Zoom chat to reflect their mood. Managers can deepen connections in one-on-one meetings by asking, “How can I better support you this week?” 
• Social and emotional support – Offer social and emotional support by implementing strategies at both organizational and individual levels. Establish peer networks, such as mentoring programs, buddy systems during onboarding, or employee resource groups (ERGs) to build meaningful connections. Offering mental health resources such as counseling or stress management programs further cultivates a culture of care.
• Decision-making and fair treatment – Promote inclusivity and fairness with clear policies, manager training on equitable practices, and a confidential employee reporting system for addressing concerns. Enhance transparency by evaluating performance review processes to ensure they’re fair and balanced while also assessing metrics like pay equity, promotion rates, and hiring sources to identify disparities. 
• Harassment and bullying – Implement a clear anti-bullying policy with a zero-tolerance approach to harassment, including online behavior and third-party interactions. Provide bystander intervention training and encourage safe, anonymous reporting channels.
• Recognition and career development – Offer regular recognition programs, such as monthly awards or peer shout-outs to celebrate employee achievements. Create career growth opportunities through development plans and mentorship which help to provide transparent pathways for advancement.

#2 Improving work factors

• Role clarity – Another way to improve work performance is by ensuring roles, responsibilities, and performance goals are clearly defined and achievable. This reduces misunderstandings and helps team members focus on their top priorities. Clear expectations empower employees to work efficiently and with confidence, fostering a more productive and aligned team. 
• Decision-making and control – Empower employees by offering greater control over their schedules and workloads through flexible work options and opportunities to provide input on task prioritization. 
• Workload – Manage high workloads by setting realistic deadlines, redistributing tasks as needed, and hiring additional support during peak times. 
• Accommodating schedules – Offer more predictable schedules by planning shifts in advance and allowing employees to swap or adjust shifts if needed. Many companies are exploring creative scheduling strategies. For instance, Land O’ Lakes, a dairy producer, transitioned from fixed shifts to flexible scheduling, enabling employees to select their work hours—leading to improved recruitment, productivity, and job satisfaction.
• Cross-functional collaboration – Equipping teams with the tools and support to work together effectively improves work performance by fostering creative problem-solving and shared responsibility. Cross-functional goal setting helps manage workloads, align priorities, and build a collaborative culture where teams work toward shared success.
• Work-life boundaries – Promote healthy work-life integration by encouraging employees to disconnect and recharge during personal time, boosting their productivity and focus during work hours. Leaders play a critical role by modeling these behaviors—employees often mirror their managers’ practices, even when explicit policies encourage taking PTO or mental health days. Flexible working arrangements further support this balance.

#3 Improving environmental factors

• Workplace conditions – Improve lighting with adjustable fixtures, ensuring each workspace is well-lit. Reduce excessive noise by providing noise-canceling headphones, setting up quiet zones, or using sound-dampening materials. Ensure reliable equipment by scheduling regular maintenance checks and quickly replacing malfunctioning tools or furniture.
• Resource availability and safety – Ways to improve work performance include access to the tools and resources necessary to perform jobs effectively, such as updated software or specialized equipment. This also includes knowledge-based resources (e.g., training materials and access to information).

Prioritize mental health

Prioritizing mental health is essential because employee well-being directly impacts performance, focus, and creativity. Offering comprehensive mental health benefits and designing work in ways that support well-being can help reduce burnout and boost productivity. Psychosocial risk management programs, like Lyra’s Organizational Health Evaluation, are effective ways to address work-related stress by identifying its root causes and providing actionable steps to improve the work environment.

Empower your workforce for lasting success

Finding ways to improve work performance starts with creating a supportive environment where employees feel valued and empowered. When leaders prioritize clear communication, provide meaningful feedback, and promote balance, they inspire their teams to thrive both personally and professionally.

The terms “artificial intelligence” and “mental health care” can feel intimidating. People often feel like they should know more about both than they do and both have extraordinary power for good, when done well. AI has the power to transform industries. Mental health care has the power to transform lives.

We founded Lyra on the belief that technology can meaningfully improve the delivery of mental health care. Recent launches of impressive new AI products have fueled our conviction that the pace of change in AI will be even faster than anything we have previously seen. Among other capabilities, AI is able to understand nuanced and unstructured prompts, review massive data sets, find relevant signals, and present findings via text in a manner that feels human-like.

At Lyra, we’ve been investing in AI-powered mental health care since 2016 with a thoughtful, intentional, and measured approach. As I discussed in my January 2024 blog, we are committed to continue investing in AI to improve the client/“patient” experience and to make a meaningful impact on the care journey and outcomes. We are also now incorporating AI into more parts of our providers’ workflows to support them in doing their best work. Further, we are creating an even more personalized and continuous care experience for our clients and continuing to raise the bar on the new standard of care that we created in this industry. In this blog, I will walk through our AI approach, some current use cases, and vision for what it can help us achieve.

Supporting compassionate care with innovation

Various organizations are currently exploring ways to use AI to help diagnose, treat, and prevent mental health conditions. While there are ethical considerations in the application of AI to every industry around accuracy, oversight, and systemic vulnerabilities, they are even more pressing in mental health care. This is because of its sensitivity and the fact that we are dealing with some of our clients’ most vulnerable health information.

That’s why, at Lyra, all of our AI and technological developments are created hand-in-hand with our expert clinical team. We work together to make sure that technology is working for our clients and providers in a meaningful way.

AI-powered provider matching for exceptional outcomes

At Lyra, we believe that matching the right provider to the client’s needs is a foundational part of improving patient outcomes. We first launched our AI-powered provider matching technology back in 2016 and have continuously refined it since with extraordinary results. More than 95% of Lyra clients stay with their first matched provider and nearly 90% see a meaningful reduction in symptoms or full recovery.

We connect people with a provider based on clinical needs, schedule, location, preferences for provider identity, and availability to meet in-person or virtually. Most importantly, we are able to match them based on a provider’s history of successfully treating other clients with similar needs. This takes personalization to a whole new level.

This technology only works so well because it is fueled by our handpicked, diverse network of providers and our commitment to evidence-based, culturally responsive care.

Personalized care for every journey

We are constantly improving ways in which we can intelligently surface the right content (from our extensive clinically created library), resources, and other available benefits to clients in a way that would be most beneficial to them in their care journey.

Employers offer an array of overlapping benefits that can support their employees, but sometimes these can be hard to find and navigate. With Integrated Benefits, we identify and surface relevant employer benefits based on members’ symptoms for holistic employee well-being. Specific clinical signals we use to suggest benefits include chronic health conditions, fertility journeys, and family support.

In addition to intelligently surfacing other benefits, we automatically refer some clients to Lyra Social Care based on their needs. Our Lyra Resource Coordinator team can direct clients to resources for food, housing, care, and other social determinants of health, helping with both the application and referral process.

With Wellness Toolkit, we are able to recommend Lyra mindfulness resources, articles, exercises, and lessons to members who may benefit from self-guided mental wellness tools using signals they have given us.

Empowering providers with smarter tools

We are not just thinking about how to support our clients, we are also focused on helping our providers do their best work while reducing their administrative loads as much as possible.

We recently launched an AI tool to help our therapists automatically draft session intake and follow-up notes. These notes are an important part of a provider’s workflow and essential to delivering the highest quality care. We worked closely with our providers to create the service and rolled it out slowly and iteratively before offering it to our entire Lyra Care therapist network.

Our providers have been amazed by how accurately AI can assist them with notes creation while saving them up to 10 minutes after each client session. This saved time helps our providers focus on doing what they do best: providing excellent care for their clients.

Looking to the future

We have already proven that mental health care doesn’t have to be broken. We believe the future of mental health care powered by AI offers exciting and endless possibilities to help millions more people. We believe AI will extend the reach of our incredible providers to better help their clients apply mental health practices in their everyday lives, and feel better, faster. At Lyra, we embrace innovation and change with an unshakable commitment to putting our clients first in everything that we do.

As the year winds down, stress peaks and unfinished goals loom—but with a few mindset shifts and practical strategies, you can finish the year strong with renewed energy and a fresh perspective. To help you finish this year strong, we turned to Lyra Health’s mental health experts for their top well-being tips.

#1 View goals as a journey

Instead of viewing unmet goals as failures, reflect on them with kindness and compassion. “Think about how you’d talk to a friend who’s being hard on themselves,” said Blaire Ehret, PhD, one of Lyra’s clinical quality supervisors. “Many of us find it easy to have compassion toward others, but struggle to direct that compassion inward.”

For example, perhaps your goal was to exercise four times a week, but you fell short. Instead of focusing on the shortfall, consider the progress you made. Maybe you signed up for a gym membership and went most weeks, even if it wasn’t four times a week. Acknowledge the effort. That’s a win.

#2 Ditch deadlines

When it comes to personal goals, many of us think we need a clean slate, like the start of a new year, to begin something new. But what if we reframe that thinking? Dr. Ehret emphasized the importance of letting go of arbitrary deadlines and embracing the idea that it’s never too late to work toward your goals and finish the year strong. For example, rather than waiting until January to start a fitness routine, why not sign up for that 5k run you’ve been eyeing and begin training now?

“We anchor ourselves to this idea that we have to start fresh—whether it’s the first of the month, week, day, or year—but the truth is, that’s an arbitrary deadline we set for ourselves”said Dr. Ehret. “We can literally start at any moment. Rather than waiting for the perfect timing, realize that these deadlines are self-imposed.”

This shift in perspective helps ease the feeling that you’ve run out of time to achieve your goals. You don’t need a monumental moment to move forward—any time is the right time to take action.

#3 Reassess your goals

Instead of focusing on what didn’t get done, acknowledge how your time was spent in other meaningful areas. Unfinished goals don’t necessarily mean you didn’t do anything. It just means you spent time doing other important things.

“If your unfinished goals didn’t get attention because you were living in service of another value, that’s still time well spent,” said Dr. Ehret. “For instance, maybe you didn’t achieve a professional goal, but you spent time with family or focused more on your well-being. The key is ensuring that your time aligns with what matters most to you. Unfinished goals might just be artifacts of values that are no longer important to you.”

On the other hand, if you notice you’re spending time on things that don’t align with your values while neglecting those that do, it’s a good time to reflect. This can reveal an opportunity to course-correct, adjust your focus, and end the year strong.

Reflection can feel heavy when goals go unmet. “It helps to approach reflection with curiosity, almost like an impartial observer of your own life,” said Julie Pelletier, PhD, a clinical quality supervisor at Lyra. “It’s important to recognize that no one reaches every goal they set each year. Accepting this reality allows you to be more compassionate with yourself and less critical.”

#4 Make a “done” list

Check perfectionism at the door. If you didn’t accomplish every goal, you haven’t failed. Dr. Pelletier points out that any time failure creeps into your mind it’s a red flag for a thinking trap.

“It’s quite possible you achieved a lot of goals, and probably more than you even realize,” she said. “Instead of only focusing on what you didn’t do, create a ‘done list’ to acknowledge the small wins. These are valuable to achieving your goals.”

Petellier also points out the need for self-compassion to finish the year strong. “Perfectionism often tricks us into setting unrealistically high standards, which leads to unnecessary frustration and stress,” she said. “Giving due credit to all you’ve done helps you stay motivated and maintain momentum. Progress isn’t always linear. Anything you’ve done to move closer to your goals is a step in the right direction.”

#5 Celebrate growth

Try shifting your perspective to celebrate what you achieved and acknowledge what you learned from missteps. “If you look at goals with an eye trained toward achievements, then that’s what you’re going to see,” said Jenson Reiser, PhD, a clinical quality supervisor at Lyra. “Ask yourself thoughtful, introspective questions instead. For instance, ‘How am I different at the close of this year than I was at the start?’ or, ‘What curveballs were thrown my way, and how did I manage them?’”

Looking back through your calendar or photos can help you recall the moments that mattered—the tricky decisions you had to make, or the times you lived out your values even when it was hard. “By focusing on growth, you’re training your brain to notice more of the positives,” said Dr. Reiser. “Once you start recognizing accomplishments, you’ll see more of them, reinforcing a sense of fulfillment and progress, regardless of any unmet goals.”

#6 Keep moving forward

To finish this year strong, break large goals into manageable steps. “No step is too small,” said Dr. Pelletier. “Focus on the tiniest steps that feel meaningful and help you work toward something important. This approach can make even the busiest season feel productive and purposeful, rather than overwhelming.”

A great way to finish the year strong and keep moving forward is by using backward planning. “Backward planning involves starting with the end in mind—asking yourself, ‘What do I want to be true in my life on December 31st of next year? What two or three things can I start to put into place now to make that a reality?” said Dr. Reiser.

Check in with yourself regularly to see what’s working and where you might make adjustments. Staying flexible will help you maintain momentum, even during busy or unexpected times, so you can close out the year feeling accomplished and prepared for what’s next.

#7 Say “no”

Setting boundaries during these weeks can reduce stress, promote balance, and help you end the year strong. “Whether it’s with family, friends, or even yourself, being intentional about what you’ll agree to helps you protect your time and energy,” said Dr. Reiser. “For example, if you tend to take on extra tasks, like organizing the workplace gift exchange or baking for the classroom party, you can set limits in advance, such as only agreeing to two additional tasks this season. This allows you to prioritize yourself and your family without feeling overwhelmed.”

By focusing on what’s most important, you can plan intentionally around them. “Write these down on a sticky note to keep them top of mind,” said Dr. Reiser. “Whether it’s spending quality time with your kids or moderating your commitments, these goals serve as your ‘north star.’ Once those are clear, you can make decisions about what to say yes to—and more importantly, what to say no to—ensuring these last weeks are in line with what truly matters.” This small but powerful step can keep you on track and help you achieve your goals with purpose and clarity.

Boundaries also apply to social interactions. You might consider who you see during this time and how they impact your energy. “It may not be feasible to say, ‘I’m just not going to see the people that deplete me,’ but you could say, ‘I’m only going to spend two hours at my aunt’s instead of the whole day,'” said Dr. Reiser.

Additionally, preparing responses to uncomfortable questions at gatherings can make it easier to navigate tricky conversations. Financial boundaries are equally important—so managing them early can reduce pressure and help create a more enjoyable season.

#8 Reset emotionally and mentally

It’s important to reset mentally to end this year strong and prepare for the challenges and opportunities ahead. As novelist and activist Anne Lamott says, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a minute, including you.” Stepping back and taking intentional breaks during stressful times is a must. Dr. Reiser explains, “Our culture is going to give us a plethora of reasons not to unplug, but ultimately, it’s our responsibility to recognize the value of doing so for our own well-being.”

Prioritizing mental and emotional resets isn’t just about taking breaks when you’re already exhausted. As Dr. Reiser points out, “If we could practice taking breaks now, it’ll be so much easier to take breaks when the breaks are really needed.” Something as simple as a 10-minute walk can make it easier for your mind and body to accept the need for a longer break during a high-stress time. “This practice prepares you to reset more effectively when it counts the most, allowing you to enter the new year with greater clarity and alignment with your values,” said Dr. Reiser.

#9 Prioritize self-care

Prioritizing self-care without guilt is essential. “It’s a big juggling act for most people, and trying to manage everything can be overwhelming,” said Dr. Pelletier. “But if you aren’t taking care of yourself, you won’t be able to do any of the extra commitments asked of you during this season.”

Self-care is often misunderstood as a luxury, but it’s an intentional practice that nurtures your physical, emotional, spiritual, and even financial well-being. Self-care involves developing habits that allow you to sustain yourself long-term, not just recover from moments of exhaustion. It can be as simple as getting enough sleep, setting boundaries in relationships, practicing mindfulness or meditation, staying active, or managing your budget.

Learning how to “cope ahead” is also a form of self-care that can help you finish the year strong. Anticipate recurring stressors like family tensions during the holidays and plan ways to manage them in advance. “It’s not catastrophizing, but reasonably guessing how things will go and envisioning what supports or boundaries you need,” Dr. Pelletier explained. “Checking in with yourself regularly to assess your stress levels and seeking help from a therapist or mental health coach can make a significant difference in managing seasonal pressures.”

#10 Mind your mental health

Holiday stress, reflecting on the past year, and planning for the future can take a toll on your mental health and your ability to finish the year strong.“ Any time is a good time to seek mental health support,” said Dr. Ehret. “If you’re even thinking about it, that’s a good sign you should explore it.”

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, reach out for professional support. Whether it’s processing emotions or seeking guidance on how to manage stress, mental health care can be a lifeline this time of year.

“Take that first step—there’s nothing to lose by trying,” said Dr. Ehret. “The door is always  unlocked. You can come in, explore, and get some tips. And if it’s not the right time, you can always come back later.”

This can be an incredibly emotional time of year, with the highs feeling super high and the lows feeling super low. “A mix of nostalgia, expectations, traditions, and memories can amplify emotions for many people,” said Dr. Reiser. “For some, the season brings joy, while others experience loneliness, loss, or grief, with everything feeling more intense. Even those who love the holidays often feel a sense of relief when they’re over.”

End the year strong

Finish the year strong by recognizing that you deserve to be as kind to yourself as you are to others and to prioritize self-care. By connecting with your values and reflecting on what matters most, you can stay aligned with your goals. Even if you get off track, remember that the journey is always there, and you can return to it when you’re ready.

Journaling for mental health is a powerful way to support your well-being. Whether you’re facing big challenges or navigating everyday ups and downs, journaling offers a space to reflect, release emotions, and build self-awareness. Let’s explore how journaling works and get expert tips from Courtney Jordan, founder of Bright Mentality, an organization that empowers people to improve their mental health through tools like journaling.

Benefits of journaling for mental health

Regular journaling can provide immediate emotional relief as well as lasting improvements to your mental health. Here are some key benefits of journaling for mental health:

• Provides a safe space – Journaling is a space where you can release emotions without fear of others’ judgment.
• Helps manage feelings – By pausing to write, you give yourself time to observe your thoughts, which can reduce overwhelming feelings.
• Identifies thinking patterns – Journaling for mental health can help you spot unhelpful habits and understand your reactions to emotions.
• De-escalates worry – Journaling for anxiety or stress is a release valve for mental tension. The simple act of getting your worries down on paper can reduce their intensity.
• Improves mood – Journaling for depression can reduce depressive symptoms, so consider keeping a mood tracking journal.
• Boosts self-compassion – Another benefit of journaling for mental health is that seeing your struggles on paper can help you acknowledge them with kindness rather than judgment.
• Helps find solutions – Writing about challenges or feelings of being stuck can spark insights and solutions.
• Builds emotional intelligence – Journaling builds emotional intelligence because as you identify thoughts and emotions, you gain insight into your own experiences and also develop a greater understanding of others.

How to journal for mental health

Journaling is a flexible and personal way to support mental health, helping you tune into your thoughts, process emotions, and build self-awareness. Here are some of the best ways to journal for mental health:

#1 Pick a format (digital or print)

Choose whatever medium feels right to you, whether it’s a physical notebook, online document, or a digital app.

#2 Start simple

Don’t pressure yourself to write pages. A few sentences or bullet points can be a great start. Experiment with different journaling techniques for mental health, like stream of consciousness where you write whatever thoughts or feelings come up, lists, or even doodling, until you find what works best for you.

#3 Find a process or routine

Establish a time that feels right, whether it’s the first thing in the morning, before bed, or during a break. Create a cozy space—maybe light a candle or grab a blanket. A small ritual can make journaling for mental health something you look forward to.

“I like to journal first thing in the morning,” said Jordan, founder of Bright Mentality. “I make a cup of coffee or tea, use my favorite blue pen, and sit in a certain chair at my kitchen table. Being in the same spot every day helps me to maintain a consistent routine.”

#4 Don’t judge your writing

“I think the challenge I had when I first started journaling was not being open and vulnerable enough to be honest with myself. I was afraid someone would see my journal and judge me or my goals,” said Jordan. “Now I know that my journal reflects my true self and the things I want out of life. Being your true and authentic self is most important when it comes to healing and overall well-being.”

Journaling for mental health is a judgment-free zone. There’s no need for perfect grammar or structure. Don’t worry about what you’re writing—focus on the emotional relief or clarity it brings, rather than overthinking your words.

#5 Be consistent but flexible

Try to journal regularly, but don’t stress if you skip a day. Journaling for mental health should feel supportive, not like another item on your to-do list.

#6 Set a timer

If you’re short on time, set a timer for five or 10 minutes. You can always continue if you feel inspired.

#7 Use prompts for inspiration

If you’re unsure what to write, use journal prompts for mental health to get started. Look for prompts online or create your own around themes like gratitude, goals, or self-reflection.

“I start my day with about 10 prompts to get motivated and stay focused, then wrap up the evening with a few more as I wind down,” said Jordan.

For example, you could ask yourself:

• How do I feel today?
• What’s been on my mind?
• What are you thankful for?
• What do I want to achieve?
• What’s one kind thing I can do for myself?

“When I first went through a mental health crisis, I was told about cognitive behavioral therapy to help with recovery,” said Jordan. “I used many different prompts that were based on CBT and it seemed to really help me. I found that the more I journaled my feelings, the more free I felt and could truly reflect on healing and getting better.”

How to overcome common roadblocks to journaling

Even with the best intentions, journaling can be challenging. Here’s how to tackle some of the most common barriers:

“I don’t have enough time.” Busy schedules can make journaling feel like just another task, but even five minutes can make a difference.

Tip: Try journaling during moments you’re already slowing down, like with your morning coffee or just before bed.

“I don’t want to face certain emotions.” Journaling for mental health can stir up uncomfortable feelings, but it’s OK to start with lighter topics and gradually work up to deeper ones.

Tip: Begin by writing about neutral or positive topics, like gratitude or daily wins, and explore more difficult emotions when you’re ready.

“I don’t feel like writing.” On low-motivation days, even writing a few sentences or reflecting on why you started can help keep the journaling habit alive.

Tip: Try using bullet points or doodles on low-energy days to maintain momentum.

“I don’t know what to write about.” Writer’s block is common, but using prompts or writing whatever comes to mind—even if it’s just “I don’t know what to write”—can help get the words flowing.

Tip: Let go of the pressure to write something profound; free-flowing thoughts can be enough.

“I’m not good at writing.” Perfectionism can hold you back, but journaling is your space to be messy and free from judgment.

Tip: Try free-writing for five minutes to let your thoughts flow without editing or overthinking.

“The best advice I can give is to discipline yourself to journal,” said Jordan. “It’s best if you make it a daily habit. You’ll find that many of the areas in your life will improve and you’ll begin to gain insight on your life and the people and things around you.”

Discover a powerful tool for mental wellness

Journaling for mental health is a transformative practice that helps you process thoughts, reduce stress, and deepen your self-awareness. Done regularly, it can be a path to healing and personal growth, and empower you to take charge of your mental well-being.

Employee performance reviews are valuable opportunities to foster growth, strengthen communication, and build trust between employees and managers. With thoughtful preparation and a focus on mental health, employee reviews can shift from routine check-ins to meaningful exchanges that support both performance and well-being.

What is an employee performance review?

Employee performance reviews are structured conversations between employees and managers to discuss progress, achievements, and goals.

Types of employee performance review include:

1. Traditional performance review – Managers provide top-down evaluations of employees’ work and areas for growth
2. Self-reviews – Employees assess their own strengths and weaknesses
3. Peer reviews – Colleagues provide evaluations and share feedback

Employee performance evaluations typically happen once or twice a year. Some companies opt for quarterly performance reviews to keep employee feedback timely throughout the year.

Why are employee performance reviews important?

Employee evaluations matter because they:

• Help employees understand what they’re doing well and where they can improve
• Build trust between employees and managers
• Empower employees to take charge of their professional development
• Boost morale and motivation
• Clarify expectations for employees Encourage ownership of roles and team contributions
• Align compensation and bonus decisions with employee performance

Goals of employee performance reviews

When done effectively, employee evaluations encourage individual growth and organizational success. Some goals of performance reviews include:

• Identifying development and growth opportunities
• Clarifying expectations
• Recognizing contributions 
• Improving communication and collaboration
• Aligning performance with organizational goals
• Providing a sense of purpose
• Increasing accountability

Tips for effective employee performance reviews

By approaching employee evaluations with mental health in mind, companies can turn performance reviews into moments of connection and growth where employees feel seen, valued, and motivated to perform well. Here are eight tips to help prepare a performance review:

#1 Know your purpose

When preparing an employee performance evaluation, ask yourself: What’s my main goal? Is it to fine-tune small improvements, give a heads-up on concerns, or deliver a serious wake-up call? This helps you approach the conversation with clarity.

#2 Address pre-review nerves

If you’re feeling nervous, take a moment to manage your emotions by naming them (such as fear, nervousness, or guilt) and notice any physical responses (like a tense jaw, tight shoulders, or shallow breathing). Try calming techniques, like deep breathing or grounding exercises to help you get centered before the employee review.

#3 Recharge before the review

Just like you wouldn’t want to take an exam on little sleep or work out while dehydrated, you’re more effective in a performance review if you’re feeling good. What are your top three ways to restore balance? Sleep? Exercise? Family? Hobbies? Prioritize these in the days leading up to the review. Remember that tending to yourself helps you better support others.

#4 Show empathy

When employees feel respected and valued, they’re more open to feedback. Empathy can be acknowledging the difficulty of employee evaluation conversations, validating feelings like feeling overwhelmed or nervous, expressing support to help them improve, and offering to pause if the conversation becomes intense.

#5 Set the stage

Walking employees through what to expect in a performance review reassures them there’s space for their questions and provides a clear structure. For example, you might say, “We’ll begin with my feedback. After any questions, we’ll work on an action plan with specific steps, targets, and the support you need. How does that sound?”

#6 Give direct feedback

Share concrete examples of what’s going well and what needs improvement. Use specific examples (the who, what, when, and where) to highlight any gaps between expectations and performance. Focus on behavior and results rather than personal traits. Skip the “compliment sandwich,” which can dilute or confuse your message. Instead, keep praise and constructive feedback separate.

#7 Motivate with what drives them

Tailor your employee reviews to what drives each individual. For example, if career growth is important to them, link improvements to future advancement opportunities. If mastery motivates them, affirm your belief in their ability to meet challenges. For employees who value impact, emphasize the importance of their work to the team or company.

#8 Make feedback ongoing

Part of the stress around employee performance reviews is not knowing what to expect. Feedback in employee evaluations should never be a surprise. With regular communication, employees are more likely to anticipate the tone of their review, which can help ease some of the anxiety of uncertainty.

How to give a constructive employee performance review

Delivering difficult news in an employee performance review requires care. When done thoughtfully, addressing challenges can guide employees toward improvement and prevent small work issues from becoming larger performance obstacles.

Here are some tips on how to give a constructive employee performance review:

1. Be clear and provide examples – If feedback is unclear, it can be hard to make adjustments.
2. Validate emotions – If an employee becomes upset, acknowledge their feelings: “Your experience is valid. It’s normal to have a response to feedback.”
3. Partner with human resources and employee relations – HR and ER can offer support for structuring the conversation and directing employees to resources, such as training.
4. Recognize the positive – Provide recognition for what has gone well. Acknowledge the effort the employee put into their role and their accomplishments to date.
5. Express intentions – When relevant, reassure employees that the purpose of the feedback is success in their role: “I’m giving you this feedback because I want you to excel.”
6. Acknowledge communication gaps – If changes in expectations or goals impacted the employee’s performance, acknowledge any communication gaps on your part. For example, if updates weren’t clearly conveyed, recognize this oversight and clarify expectations moving forward.
7. Pause if necessary – If emotions run high, offer a break in the conversation and schedule time to resume: “Take some time to process and let’s pick this back up tomorrow when we are both available at 10am .”
8. Manage your own emotions – If you feel yourself getting frustrated, take a deep breath. It’s OK to pause the conversation and resume once you feel more centered.
9. Review and reset – Summarize the main points of the performance review and ask whether the employee has questions for you. Document what was discussed as a shared reference moving forward.

Maximize the impact of performance conversations

Employee performance reviews are opportunities to strengthen relationships, encourage growth, and align individual and company efforts. By approaching these conversations with mental health in mind, you can  inspire motivation, build trust, and create a supportive environment that sets the stage for long-term success.

Feeling constantly anxious, tense, or overwhelmed can be more than just a rough patch—it may be toxic stress. This type of stress can feel all-consuming, making it hard to find relief. But with the right support and practical tools, you can regain balance and build lasting resilience. 

What is toxic stress?

Toxic stress is a prolonged state of stress that occurs when life’s challenges feel overwhelming and unmanageable. It often arises when people are stuck in difficult circumstances, like ongoing adversity, neglect, trauma, or illness, without adequate support from loved ones or their community.

While toxic stress in children is often highlighted in research, it can profoundly affect adults as well. Many adults may not recognize toxic stress symptoms until they escalate, sometimes leading to conditions like PTSD. 

What is the difference between stress and toxic stress? 

Stress usually signals something important. For example, it can remind you to prepare for a big meeting or study for a test—it’s temporary and even beneficial in small doses. Toxic stress, however, lingers long after the stressful event is over. 

There are three types of stress responses:

1. Positive stress response – A temporary reaction to everyday challenges, like giving a presentation or getting a flu shot. Overcoming these fears can build resilience and confidence.
2. Tolerable stress response – Arises from intense but temporary challenges like a difficult breakup or a loved one’s illness, which can be managed with proper community or social support.
3. Toxic stress response – In the absence of sufficient support, stress can become toxic.  Toxic stress symptoms are prolonged and keep the body on high alert, potentially harming mental and physical health. Persistent issues like ongoing conflict or neglect can be toxic stress examples, increasing the risk of anxiety, depression, and other health problems.

Causes of toxic stress

There are several reasons that stress turns toxic:

• Lack of emotional or social support – Without strong relationships to lean on, stress can feel unmanageable. In fact, a key protective factor against toxic stress in children is just one caring, consistent relationship. 
• Persistent, unmanageable stress – Toxic stress occurs when hardships seem never-ending, and there’s no time for recovery. This could include things like financial hardship, chronic illness, or trauma. 
• Constant exposure to adversity – Living in a war zone, long-term abuse, or ongoing neglect without adequate emotional or material resources can fuel toxic stress.

Toxic stress symptoms 

Toxic stress in adults comes with a range of emotional, cognitive, and physical symptoms like:

• Forgetting details or struggling to recall information 
• Feeling disconnected or detached from yourself, those around you, or your surroundings
• Feeling constantly on guard, as if you’re waiting for something bad to happen

• Feeling unable to cope, which can make daily tasks feel insurmountable and trigger mental health symptoms like anxiety, irritability, guilt, and emotional exhaustion
• Acting on impulses or experiencing intense anger that seems disproportionate to the situation
• Nightmares or insomnia

• Stomach problems like nausea and digestive disturbances
• Tension in muscles like your jaw or shoulders
• Using substances, overspending, or overeating to try to cope with stress

Toxic stress in children can surface as some of the above symptoms as well as: 

• Tantrums and frequent meltdowns
• Withdrawing from people or activities
• Excessive clinginess
• Developmental delays (missing typical developmental milestones in motor skills, language, cognitive abilities, or social-emotional development)
• Regressing to earlier behaviors like thumb-sucking
• Frequent illness
• Unexplained physical complaints like stomachaches, headaches, or frequent aches and pains

How to recover from toxic stress

Recovering from toxic stress involves support, coping strategies, and self-care. Here are some ways to manage toxic stress symptoms: 

#1 Build a support system

Lean on family, friends, or mentors for comfort and understanding. Prioritizing these relationships is especially important during difficult times.

#2 Seek professional support

Therapy can help people manage toxic stress. A therapist uses evidence-based approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy to help you shift unhelpful thought patterns. They can also teach you grounding techniques for anxiety and healthy coping tools to overcome toxic stress.

#3 Practice mindfulness and relaxation techniques

Techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, deep breathing exercises, and yoga can help regulate intense emotions and promote a sense of calm. Reconnecting body and mind makes it easier to stay in the moment and feel more balanced.

#4 Stay active

Engaging in physical activities like walking, running, or dancing can lift your mood and ease anxiety by releasing endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Creative hobbies like painting, writing, or playing an instrument offer meaningful ways to reconnect with yourself, helping to counter toxic stress symptoms.

#4 Focus on what you can control

Recognizing what you can control in your life is empowering during tough times. Whether it’s managing your budget, choosing where to live, or deciding how to spend your time, focusing on what you can control eases feelings of helplessness.

#5 Participate in support programs

Community and support programs help counter toxic stress by reducing isolation and overwhelm. After School programs or sports can decrease toxic stress in children by fostering friendships and connections with supportive adults. Community groups, local classes, or volunteering can be helpful for toxic stress in adults.

#6 Validate your emotions

Giving yourself permission to feel whatever comes up, without labeling emotions as “good” or “bad,” is a healthy coping skill for toxic stress. Allowing yourself to experience emotions openly can be a powerful way to process feelings fully without getting stuck. 

Take back your life

Toxic stress can feel overwhelming, but every small step you take builds resilience and confidence. With the right support, you’ll find new ways to navigate challenges, knowing you have the strength and skills to face whatever comes next.

Have you ever dealt with a customer who was upset or dissatisfied? Perhaps you even started to feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Handling these types of situations can be challenging, and the feelings and memories can stick with you.  

While it’s important to listen to a customer’s needs, it’s also essential to care for your own well-being. Let’s explore how to deal with difficult customer interactions with coping tools that can help during and after these encounters. 

Handling difficult customer encounters as they happen

Here are a few things you can do to help reduce stress and anxiety during a tough customer situation.

Breathe slowly

Stress affects our ability to think and respond. Breathing slowly and into the belly can lower stress, helping us feel less overwhelmed and better able to handle a difficult customer interaction thoughtfully. To practice this technique when you’re off-the-clock, try using a guided meditation or breathing exercise. 

Anchoring with touch

When we’re distressed, we may experience racing thoughts. Touching a physical object helps us focus on something else and anchors us in the present moment. When dealing with difficult customer situations, try touching objects or surfaces around you, such as the floor, wall, or a counter. You can also consider:

• Holding something small such as a coin, stone, or paperweight 
• Squeezing a stress ball or plush keychain charm
• Stroking soft clothing or a soothing surface
• Gripping the edge of a table, pen or pencil, or water bottle
• Fidgeting by clicking a pen, tapping your fingers, or fiddling with jewelry
• Pressing your feet firmly into the ground and feeling its support

“STOP” to slow down

The “STOP” (Stop, Observe, Take a step back, and Proceed thoughtfully) skill takes just a couple minutes, and can help us calm ourselves and stay present as we handle difficult customer interactions. Follow these steps to give it a try:

1. Stop. Halt all movement. It may help to imagine a big stop sign. 
2. Take a step back from the situation, pause before speaking, or breathe deeply.
3. Without judgment, observe what’s going on around you. Also notice your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations.
4. Proceed thoughtfully. Ask yourself, “What is my goal for this situation?” Is it to stay calm, help the customer, or something else? Then, do what will help you meet your goal.

Say a mantra

A mantra is a positive word or phrase we can say to ourselves when handling difficult customer encounters. Repeating a mantra helps us focus our mind on one thing, rather than allowing our thoughts to race or spiral. Here are a few examples:

• “Take it slow.”
• “I’m doing my best.”
• “I can handle this.”
• “Their anger isn’t about me.”
• “Breathe.”

Recovering from difficult customer encounters 

Sometimes it can be difficult to move forward after dealing with a difficult customer interaction. It’s common to think about a customer’s words or actions over and over again. Practice “letting go” of these moments with these tips:

Get moving

Try taking a walk around your workplace or doing another physical activity that helps you de-stress. Imagine your movements are helping you leave your stress behind or pushing stress out of your body.

Allow thoughts to slide away

Imagine that your thoughts are similar to food on a non-stick pan. When you recall stressful memories of handling a difficult customer moment, invite them to gently slide away. Guide your attention toward what’s happening now. 

Release your feelings in a healthy way

You may find relief by safely expressing your feelings using your words, body, or voice. To do this, find a safe, private place. Then, try releasing tension by singing loudly, screaming into a pillow, dancing, exercising intensely, venting to a friend, or journaling. You can also do this printable activity on coping with a difficult interaction. 

A note about safety

Remember, when handling tough customer situations, safety comes first. Make sure to refer to your company’s guidelines for dealing with difficult customer interactions to protect yourself, your co-workers, and the customer.

Becoming a first-time dad sometimes feels like a rollercoaster—full of delight, twists, and a few hair-raising drops. It’s perfectly normal to question if you’re ready for the ride. You might worry about the life-altering impact of a baby or feel like an outsider to the special bond between your partner and child. Know that it’s OK to have these feelings. You’re in good company with all the first-time dads who have come before you. And with a little support and guidance, you’ll find your rhythm and discover just how great you can be at fatherhood.

9 tips for new dads

There’s no playbook on how to be a dad, but as you navigate this new terrain, here are some helpful first-time dad tips:

#1 Recognize it’s OK to not know everything…or even a lot of things

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. No one expects new dads to have all the answers. Maybe you’re unsure about changing diapers, figuring out how to soothe your crying baby, or installing the car seat. It’s OK to ask for help. Remember, everyone starts somewhere, and every experienced dad was once in your shoes. Embrace the learning and be kind to yourself on this new journey as a first-time father.

#2 Don’t worry about “being worried”

Worried? You’re in good company. You’d be hard pressed to find a first-time dad—or even an experienced dad—who doesn’t feel scared or anxious at times. It’s natural, and these feelings often drive us to be more attentive and responsible. If you weren’t worried about doing a good job, what would push you to take your child to the doctor when they seem sick or respond to their cries when something seems wrong? It’s important for first-time dads to remember worry and self-doubt aren’t only normal but adaptive emotions. That said, if first-time father anxiety is overwhelming or interfering with your ability to function, it’s important to reach out to a mental health professional. They can help you learn to manage these emotions more effectively.

#3 Make friends with imperfection

Embrace the chaos and know that it’s alright if things aren’t perfect. Parenthood is messy, and everyone makes mistakes along the way. So you burn dinner while juggling assembling the nursery glider and doing laundry? Instead of feeling like a failure, laugh it off and order takeout. These imperfect moments are part of the journey of becoming a father and they don’t define your ability as a new dad. 

#4 Set boundaries: the secret to the new-baby balancing act

It’s OK to say no to extra commitments in your professional and personal life so you can focus on fatherhood and your family’s needs. If a colleague asks you to take on an additional project, consider declining or asking for a later deadline so you can spend more time with your newborn or help your partner. Maybe a family member requests frequent visits or is overbearing with advice—explain that while you appreciate their support, you need space and time to adjust to your new role as a first-time father. Clear communication about boundaries manages expectations and helps you stay fully present and supportive as a new dad.

#5 Talk it out

In the whirlwind of becoming a father, communication between partners can fall by the wayside. You’re both stressed and trying to figure out this whole parenting thing. You may feel hesitant to bring up issues for fear it’ll make things worse, but it’s important to share openly because this can prevent minor issues from turning into major conflicts. For instance, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, you might say, “I’m feeling really stressed about balancing work and taking care of the baby. Can we take a look at how we share the nighttime feeding schedule?” 

#6 Refuel and recharge

You can’t be there for your child and partner if you’re running on empty. It’s important to take care of yourself as well. For example, if you’re feeling overwhelmed while the baby is crying, take deep breaths, feel the space around you, and center yourself. You could close your eyes and count to 10 slowly. This small break can help you recharge and provide the patience and clarity needed to tackle the challenges of fatherhood. 

#7 High-five even small victories 

Each step forward as a new dad, no matter how small, is progress in your parenting journey. If you successfully soothe your baby to sleep after a particularly fussy evening, change a diaper without any mishaps, or manage to prepare a meal while keeping the baby entertained, take a moment to recognize your achievement. Share the moment with your partner by saying, “I managed to calm the baby down tonight; it felt really good to see them finally drift off,” or “I changed the diaper without any issues today!” These small celebrations can boost your confidence and morale, help you connect with your partner, and remind you that you’re growing and learning in fatherhood. 

#8 Ask for help

Many first-time dads feel isolated in the new world of parenthood. You’re likely not seeing friends as much, and you may miss the relationship you had with your partner prior to having kids. It’s no wonder that nearly 3 in 10 men report depression between the first trimester and one year postpartum. It’s OK to seek support. Therapy or mental health coaching doesn’t mean you’ve failed but rather that you’re taking proactive steps to care for your mental health and be the best for your family.

#9 Give yourself a break

Fatherhood comes with a steep learning curve. It’s easy to be hard on yourself when things don’t go perfectly. However, self-compassion is crucial. It’s OK to make mistakes and learn from them. Acknowledge the effort you’re putting in. Take time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. When you’re kind to yourself, you show up for your family better, set a positive example for your child, and create a more nurturing environment for your family.

You’ve got this

Remember, all new dads face these challenges. Your feelings are a testament to your dedication and love. Reach out for support when you need it—you’re not alone, and you can do this.

Content warning: There are multiple mentions of suicide in this article.

The signs of depression in men can look different than women, often influenced by societal expectations that teach boys to suppress vulnerability, show extreme self-reliance, and take risks. These norms can mask the signs of depression in men. Since men are also less likely than women to report these symptoms and face a higher suicide risk, it’s critical to know the symptoms of depression in men.

What is depression?

Depression goes beyond occasional sadness; it’s a clinical condition that can affect how you think, feel, and act. It can lead to changes in sleep, energy, concentration, and appetite, as well as feelings of sadness or hopelessness, making daily activities challenging.

10 signs of depression in men

#1 Irritability

Irritability, or a constant, underlying bitterness, is one of the most noticeable signs of depression in men. One reason for this depression symptom in men is that anger is often more socially acceptable than vulnerability. For example, while boys are discouraged from crying, lashing out in anger may be condoned.

#2 Physical complaints

The mind and body are closely connected, which is why physical depression symptoms in men are common. Men may report symptoms like sleep changes, fatigue, exhaustion, aches, and digestive issues—often unaware that these may stem from emotional distress.

#3 Isolation

Social isolation can raise the risk of depression in men. They may withdraw from others, avoiding deep conversation and interaction.

#4 Substance use

There’s a strong link between substance use and signs of depression in men. Drugs and alcohol may be used as a way to cope with painful feelings, but they often lead to more depression symptoms in men over time.

#5 Weight changes

Since depression is known to influence appetite and weight, weight loss or gain can be another sign of depression in men.

#6 Self-harm

Self-harm is sometimes a symptom of depression in men. Behaviors like cutting or burning can be expressions of internal pain.

#7 Suicidality

Men are more likely than women to complete suicide, often with a clear plan and fatal methods.

#8 Difficulty focusing

Finding it hard to work, take care of family or home responsibilities, or enjoy normal activities can be a sign of depression in men.

#9 Sexual issues

Depression in men can contribute to sexual problems like decreased libido and overall dissatisfaction with sex.

#10 Indecisiveness

Another sign of depression in men is indecisiveness. Men may struggle with decision-making due to fear of worsening their situation.

Knowing the signs of depression in men can make it easier to offer support. As a clinician, I often see depression in men when it’s reached a crisis level, but it’s much easier to help before things reach this point.

Causes of depression in men

The causes of depression in men and women are similar, but some factors can affect men more than women.

Stigma

Many men don’t get help for depression due to stigma. In many cultures, boys are socialized to be less emotional than girls. Parent and adult interactions with boys tend to focus less on identifying and sharing feelings, sending a message that men are to be strong and unemotional. This limits opportunities for men to feel and express their emotions in healthy ways, which can contribute to depression symptoms in men.

Suppressed emotions

Men often feel pressure to hide their feelings, which can increase stress, depression, and anxiety. Stoicism may mask discomfort, but it takes a toll on well-being.

Limited social support

A lack of community can contribute to symptoms of depression in men, often leading to limited interaction with family, friends, loved ones, or peers. For example, a man may isolate himself from social gatherings, avoid conversations with loved ones, or withdraw from activities he once enjoyed. On the other hand, strong social support—such as staying connected with friends, participating in group activities, or having meaningful conversations with family—can protect against both depression and suicide.

Genetics

Studies show that you’re two or three times more likely to have depression if you have a parent or sibling with depression. If you’re predisposed to depression, environmental factors can more easily trigger symptoms.

Situational factors

Stressful life events like job loss, grief, and trauma can trigger symptoms of depression in men.

Illness

Medical conditions like heart disease, Parkinson’s disease, cancer, and chronic pain can lead to depression symptoms in men or worsen existing symptoms.

Effective approaches for depression in men

For both depression in men and women, treatment typically includes counseling and/or medication. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) focuses on actionable steps to identify core values like being a good father or employee, what you’re doing (or not doing) that represents those values, and how you can take action to make sure those values show up in your daily life.

Misconceptions about depression in men

Given the different ways men and women are socialized, there are a lot of misconceptions about the signs of depression in men. For example:

“Depression is a ‘women’s issue.’”

While 10.5% of American women are diagnosed with depression each year compared to 6.2% of men, depression in men is often underreported. These differences could be because men simply lack the words to express their emotions and are more likely to say they’re stressed or tired than depressed.

“Depression is a weakness.”

Men are more likely than women to agree with statements like, “Depression is a sign of personal weakness in men” and report more embarrassment about getting help. In reality, getting help for depression symptoms in men is courageous—each man who steps forward to seek help becomes an example for other men.

“Depression makes you a burden.”

Depression impacts your ability to care for yourself and others. Getting help makes you less of a burden on others. Take time to do the things that can help you feel better allows you to be there for yourself or your loved ones in the way you’d like to be.

“Depression isn’t a real problem.”

Depression is a serious medical condition that can significantly affect your thoughts, behaviors, and health. Signs of depression in men should be given the same attention as any other medical concern like a physical illness or injury.

How to help a man with depression

If you’re trying to support a man with depression, approach the topic with relatable language. If you say something like, “You seem sad,” or, “you look stressed,” some men may be likely to put it back on you: “That’s because I am stressed.” Try language like, “You seem kind of checked out,” or “I’m worried you’re not feeling your best.”

Normalize signs of depression in men with analogies and frame seeking help as strength. For example, maybe you point out that if you’ve injured yourself, the next step is physical therapy. Psychology is kind of like that. If your central nervous system is overstressed, you need to get to the cause of it just like an athlete would an injury: “Let’s address the pain and get you back out there.”

Depression is treatable

Getting help is a sign of strength. With the right support, you can reclaim your satisfaction in life and move forward.

Society often gives men strict rules on handling emotions. Phrases like, “man up” and, “be a man” suggest that men shouldn’t struggle emotionally. But in reality, everyone faces difficult emotions, regardless of gender.

Men and women experience mental health challenges at similar rates, yet men are far less likely to seek help. This is concerning because men in the U.S. are four times more likely than women to die by suicide. Talking openly about men’s mental health and challenging outdated ideas about masculinity can reduce stress and build resilience.

Obstacles to men’s mental well-being

Men often hesitate to seek help due to society’s expectations. We’re told to be “tough,” handle things alone, and suppress emotions. So, instead of showing painful emotions, we might deal with distress through actions society deems more “manly” like:

• Isolating from loved ones
• Expressing anger or irritability
• Spending too much time on work or hobbies
• Using alcohol or other substances
• Doing risky things, like driving recklessly

These behaviors can be signs of emotional distress, but we may not recognize them as such. Even when we do, the stigma around asking for help often stops us from reaching out. Challenging outdated ideas about masculinity, like “real men don’t need help,” can help us combat stigma and overcome obstacles to well-being.

Decoding outdated “feeling rules” for men

Feeling rules tell us which emotions are OK to feel and how strongly we should feel them. Society’s feeling rules for men are based on outdated ideas about masculinity, and they can have unwanted impacts. These rules suggest:

• Only rely on yourself. Outdated idea: Men should handle challenges on their own.

  Impact: Relying only on ourselves can lead to isolation and prolonged distress.

• Be tough and strong. Outdated idea: Men should show toughness and competitiveness. Being stubborn and showing some anger is OK.

  Impact: Excessive toughness can isolate us and increase pressure on ourselves and others.

• Don’t be vulnerable.Outdated idea: Men shouldn’t show emotions that society deems “weak” or “feminine” like sadness, fear, and other vulnerable feelings.

  Impact: Hiding our emotions can lead to burnout, stress, and strained relationships.

• Control your emotions.Outdated idea: Men should hold back emotions like sadness, significant anger, and even joy.

  Impact: Consistently holding back emotions can lead to chronic stress and prolonged pain.

Breaking the mold: new rules for emotional strength

Thankfully, views on masculinity are evolving. It’s time to adopt new feeling rules that promote emotional strength:

• Feel all emotions. It’s healthy to experience the full range of emotions.
• Communicate effectively. Sharing feelings constructively is key to personal and professional success.
• Vulnerability is strength. Opening up when you’re hurting takes courage and fosters stronger relationships and mental health.
• Asking for support is wise. Seeking help during tough times is vital for your well-being and that of your family. No one can do it alone.

The emotional courage challenge

New rules require new skills. Developing new emotional skills can boost self-confidence, deepen relationships, and build resilience. Here’s how to start:

• Check in with your feelings. Close your eyes, ask yourself what you’re feeling, name the feeling, and notice where you feel it in your body. For example, “Sadness. I feel it in my chest.” This meditation offers more guidance.
• Use effective communication. Learn to set limits, fight fairly, handle difficult conversations, and cool down from anger.
• Open up to people you trust. Start by sharing one feeling you’ve had recently. For example, “I’ve been feeling worried lately.” 
• Ask for support. Reach out to someone you trust and tell them what might help. For example, “I’m stressed about work. Got any advice?” Mental health providers can also offer support for life’s challenges.

Take charge of your mental health with Lyra

Asking for help requires strength, courage, and wisdom. Lyra’s coaches and therapists can support you in lowering stress, improving your relationships, and finding fulfillment. Remember, the most important challenges are often best tackled with teamwork.