It turns out there is a stepwise method for addressing thinking traps that gives us a little freedom from their tyranny. It’s called reappraisal. Reappraisal means slowing down, looking at what’s going on in your mind, and evaluating your thoughts. It’s especially helpful when you’re having a strong emotional response. It’s a skill you can easily learn, and though it seems pretty basic, following the steps can help reduce the intensity of a painful emotion and lead to more effective actions.

Your company has a mission statement. Why not you? It’s not about goals, outcomes, or profits. It’s about who you want to be and how you want to act in every moment of your life. In essence, a personal mission statement is about your values. They are your inner compass. When things get hard, we tend to lose sight of what’s important. Our actions can be driven by our immediate reactions (e.g., irritability) or old habits (e.g., procrastinating). Values serve as a guide to help us know what to do and how to be.

Lately it seems every time I turn around there’s a new article or YouTube video about how to become happier. It’s widely reported that “happiness classes” are the most popular courses on many college campuses, with enrollments topping 1,000 students per class at some universities. As a culture we’re obsessed with the idea of finding something that makes us happy and keeps us that way. Americans rate “happy” and “joyous” emotions as having a higher value than “calm” and “peaceful.” And because we value them we’re always chasing them and trying very hard to keep them around.